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Submission
Wrestling:
By Helen Vonmott, Founder of Virago Wrestling SCENEprofiles Interview with Helen Vonmott
I could smell his sweat as he pushed his strong body against mine, forcing my face into the mats with the pressure of his shoulder. I felt helpless, weak, a butterfly beating its wings against the bars of a steel cage. In counterpoint to the strength of his body, his voice was gentle, caring even. ‘Don’t just give up like that,’ his strong East Coast accent sounded sincere though I couldn’t see his face ‘ya gotta keep fightin’.” His words stirred something inside me. I didn’t want to disappoint him; I didn’t want him to think I was weak. I kept fighting. All my life men had shied away from my strength, my confidence, and so I strove to make myself smaller, more…feminine. ‘Intimidating’ was a word I had come to loathe, as my dates inevitably used it to describe me, thereby pushing me away. At nights I would lie awake, fantasizing about being taken, ravished, consumed. I wanted a man to desire me so much that I could struggle against him, fight him with all my strength, and still not be able to push him away. I wanted a man who did not fear my strength, but reveled in it, matched it, and yes, call it sexist of me, surpassed it. The first time I got turned on in a wrestling match it came as a revelation to me. Wrestling was something I did for fun, and occasionally, money. Periodically I would don a bikini and wrestle another woman for a video production company, which them sold tapes of the match on the internet. If a guy wanted to pay money for the privilege of watching me have a good time, I couldn’t see anything wrong with that. Over the years I’ve taken a lot of flack from the wrestling, martial arts, and feminist communities for my ‘prostitution of the sport’. People think that if wrestling is associated with sexuality it’s cheapened in some way. Personally I think that attitude is childish. It’s like putting your hands over your eyes and saying over and over again ‘I am not looking at this! I am not looking at this!’ Because the fact of the matter is wrestling is hot. No amount of righteous indignation is going to change that, so you might as well accept it, and if your going to accept it, hell, why not revel in it? It’s the puritanical idea that a sexy woman is bad, cheap, weak or incompetent that’s the real issue here. When I wrestle I feel stronger, healthier, happier and more ‘in the moment’ than at any other time in my life. How could anyone imagine that there’s something wrong with that being considered sexy? As far as I’m concerned, a man (or woman) who gets turned on by seeing a woman at her athletic best is the evolved product of the feminist revolution. Power brother. Time and time again I wrestled in front of the camera yet the erotic thrill that the fans got from watching me remained somewhat of a mystery. I loved that my strong, muscular body, the source of so much shame and embarrassment as a teen-ager, was finally being admired, even worshipped, but I was having a hard time figuring out what was it about the wrestling that was so darn sexy? I mean, aside from the obvious implied lesbian sexual connotations, but that fell a little flat. If they just wanted to watch two chicks get it on, porn videos were a dime a dozen. We didn’t even show that much skin back then! What was the turn on? Lying on the floor of that martial arts Academy, the muscular blonde instructor pressing himself against me, telling me to fight him, ordering me to not give up, allowing me to escape his bone crushing holds before dragging me back, I understood. I found myself overwhelmed with a primal lust I could barely control. My breathing was shallow and erratic, and I trembled with passion, desperately trying to keep myself from licking the beaded sweat from his massive shoulders. Taking my back and pinning my arms behind my back he whispered in my ear ‘You smell too good for me to be doing dis wit’ you.’ Had I not been immobilized and out of breath I think I would have lost control and begged him to take me right there. Getting my ass handed to me by another woman in the video wrestling circuit was my original motivation for taking the wrestling workshop. Although I don’t think I remember a single move taught to us that weekend I learned the most important lesson of my wrestling career. Wrestling isn’t about holds, or moves, or speed or power…it’s about dominance and control. That’s what makes it sexy. The domination in a wrestling match is authentic in a way that other forms of domination can’t be. In most consensual BDSM scenes the sub gives away his authority by allowing himself to be tied up, handcuffed, caged, what have you. Props and costuming are heavily relied on in order for the domination to take place. Consensuality in wrestling occurs when a match is agreed to and the rules are read out. The ‘Dominant’ wins that status truly by virtue of physical superiority, it’s not just an agreed upon role. In a real competitive match, the victor allows his opponent to struggle, and then takes that opponent's control away against his will. And yet at no time are any boundaries violated. Unsurprisingly, I stepped up my training after that. Adrenaline surging through me as I struggled to secure a hold, the beauty and complexity of perfect technique, the thrill of victory, the humiliation of defeat; all of these melded together and slowly but surely began to color every aspect of my being in the world. As a child I had always been told ‘In a real fight with a man there is simply no way a woman can win. Face it. It’s just genetics. Sorry little girl. If you ever get in trouble with a man just do whatever your told and you’ll probably survive.’ Realizing what utter bullshit those beliefs were changed my life. With every submission I gained over a male opponent I became more confidant, and I reveled in my new found skill. Being forced to submit to a blonde Adonis was good…forcing him down and making him submit to me was better. In 1998 I founded Virago Wrestling. Originally I had envisioned the goal of my company to be the production and distribution of women’s wrestling videos. My company would stand out from the hundreds of others, I reasoned, by the skill of its wrestlers and the authenticity of the matches. But I’m not a video producer; I’m a wrestler. I don’t care about lighting, or packaging, or editing, or any of a hundred details that go into the making of a successful tape….I just want to kick some ass. To my surprise and delight I discovered a wonderful thing…. there are guys lining up out there who just want to get their ass kicked! Skill is such an important part of the art that a much smaller, skilled wrestler can easily dominate a larger opponent. With a solid knowledge of some basic holds a woman can tear apart a male opponent outweighing her by over fifty pounds, outmaneuvering his strength with speed, leverage, and technique. When a strong female body is added to the equation the effect is devastating. A match can even be made more exciting by incorporating the plot lines or props of traditional S&M scenes. In the course of my career I’ve submitted guys dressed as a Russian spy, Super Hero, cheerleader, PE coach, mugger, and of course, Dominatrix. Sharing wrestling, and teaching men, women and couples how to play has become a life’s project for me. Virago Wrestling is now an agency and my wrestlers (both female and male) and I now kick ass all over the globe, touring as far away as New Zealand and Japan. Instead of videos, we now specialized in private one-on-one wrestling matches though sometimes we get calls for live shows. For me the excitement never goes away.
Please click on the thumbnails to see more photos
~~~~~ Copyright 2003 This article is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the author. If you would like to share it with others, please link directly to this page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece without that permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than 20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.
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