The SCENESubmissions 2002 Archives

IN THIS STEAMING ISSUE
I've Been Invited To A BDSM Play Party! Should I go? - By Sensuous Sadie
SCENEprofiles Interview With Sa' Kinah, Leader Of Alternative Lifestyles United (ALU) Of Maine and a Gorean Practitioner
A submissives Heart - By Master Chuck, co-leader of Kinky Times of Rhode Island
You Might Be A Wannabe Dom..... Humor
Announcing Ontario's first Outdoor BDSM Play Weekend!
BDSM Website Of The Week - Recommended By Our Readers:

ADMINISTRIVIA
About the Editor: Sensuous Sadie (and how to reach me!)
What's Going On Around New England in BDSM? Our Regional Events List.
Visit the Erotic Power Exchange Dominion for steamy stories, sexy poetry, spicy humor & scandalous quotes
How To Get Off Or On The Mailing List, Newsletter Policy etc.


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SPECIAL NOTE: This is the first in a series of two columns on play parties by Sensuous Sadie. The second one will run next week.

I'VE BEEN INVITED TO A BDSM PLAY PARTY! SHOULD I GO?
By Sensuous Sadie
BurlVTSub@aol.com

Have you been invited to a BDSM play party and are wondering what it's all about? It can certainly be a scary thing for a novice to the scene, yet play parties are considered de rigeur. It almost seems uncool not to attend! I wrote this article from my own perspective of having chosen not to attend play parties, a decision that was based on my own feelings about the intimacy of the D/s experience. I hope the information below will not discourage you from attending, but rather help you decide if attending one is right for you. I felt it was important to talk about this viewpoint because play parties are assumed to be right for everyone, and it's important to validate every point of view.

If you are looking for information on play party etiquette, Mistress Ren of CUFSmaine has written an excellent article on that. You can find it on www.cufsmaine.org. You will want to read this carefully because your invitation is often dependant on another player, and they may be held responsible if you breech protocol. Getting invited to a private play party is considered to be a high honor. Not everyone gets that invitation, and it signifies that you are considered an experienced and safe player.

IS A PLAY PARTY FOR ME?
The best thing about play parties is that you can observe a wide variety of techniques and toys. Some Doms enjoy educating others and will do a demonstration for you with particular toys and techniques. This aspect can be an important part of a novice's education. At a recent play party which I attended (but didn't participate) I discovered some wonderful new toys - a twisted Lucite cane, a silver handled flogger, an electric fly swatter (for electric play) and a beautiful toy storage box made from a "bow" box - which was designed for bows and arrows.

Before you jump in however, you will want to consider if you wish to play in public at all. There is a contingent of BDSM scene people who do not attend play parties, although people often don't discuss this unless you ask them directly. (it's that looking uncool thing) I am one of those people because I feel that expressing my submissive side is a private and intimate experience that I don't want to share with a group. I have Dommed my own submissives at some parties, but I found that experience disconnected and somewhat theatrical in nature.

Why do people choose not to attend play parties? Some don't enjoy watching others submit in public - they consider it too personal. Perhaps they lean toward sexual-based play, and prefer not to do this type of play in public. As one Domme said to me "I believe that some things are best kept in private where the emotions as well as the juices can flow." Others don't like watching folks have sex (which does happen at some parties). It may be that they don't have a partner, so attending and watching everyone else have fun and play is can be painful.

It's important to know that these reasons (or any others) are perfectly valid. If you feel this way, be open and up front about that decision and avoid judgements on people who do attend. If you go to a munch that morphs into a play party - and you don't feel comfortable or ready to be involved - it is perfectly OK to let the hosts know in a polite way that you are leaving.

Unfortunately despite the community's' insistence that we are all about "tolerance," there can occasionally be intolerant attitudes. I have experienced this myself because of my choice not to play in public. It may be because my leadership position "invites" more scrutiny, but I have heard some disparaging comments and in fact have been occasionally encouraged (read mildly pressured) to play. This kind of behavior is rare, but is nevertheless absolutely unacceptable.

Fortunately, hosts usually keep a room or two set aside for folks who want to play, but want to do so in private. This way you can join the party, and get some nookie as well! It is perfectly acceptable to ask the host in advance if this will be possible.

WHAT GOES ON AT A PLAY PARTY?
The first question that I hear is often: "What goes on at a play party?" This will vary a lot as you can imagine, and depends on the sensibilities of the hosts. Some groups like Rose & Thorn host primarily social events, with educational demonstrations. These are not considered play parties, so general play is not allowed. The people doing the demonstration have planned out what they'll be doing, and the general approach is a formal one. This is very different than a play party where guests are encouraged to interact freely, with whatever equipment may be set up at the time.

At most play parties there is a No Alcohol and No Drugs rule, and some hosts post signs regarding liability and other factors. Most of the people who go to play parties like to play in public; that is they have a streak of exhibitionism - however that is not the only reason people go. (I have quite a streak of exhibitionism, but still choose not to play.) In general, there is not a lot of overt sex or intense intimate contact. Most often you will see a variety of bondage with whipping, caning, and flogging, but sometimes you will also see intercourse and other sexual activities. Some hosts have lots of cool equipment like St. Andrews crosses, spanking benches, and so on. Others use more creativity - creating rope spiderwebs and using soft chairs as spanking benches. Many of the submissives will be nude or partially nude, so you will need to be comfortable with observing all kinds of people sans clothing.

WHAT AM I EXPECTED TO DO AT A PLAY PARTY?
Here in Vermont private play parties are usually hosted at private homes and are closed parties, which means you will need an invitation from the host to attend. Since the Rose & Thorn newsletter does not list private parties (for liability reasons), you will need to become involved with the local BDSM community sufficiently so that you are a known and safe player. No host wants an unknown and possibly risky player in their home, both for personal safety and confidentiality reasons. The hosts will provide you with the common rules at their home, as well as information on the level of play that is acceptable at their home. When considering attending, think about the hosts and their home. Is the location a safe one - with privacy from prying eyes? Is it in an area where the cops are more likely to come by for a noise complaint? Are all the guests personally screened by the host? Are the hosts known to you so that if there's a problem you have someone to help you?

As I mentioned, guests are not expected to play, although it is often assumed that you will play since you are attending. If you are told that you are expected to play if you attend, think carefully about whether this is right for you. More importantly, do you want to be with a group who do not value the educational aspect of observation without having to play?

Do you feel that your experience level is sufficient that you will feel comfortable playing in front of others? Do you enjoy being watched? Do you have a partner whom you can trust to take care of you in a public situation? If you are a sub and unattached, then you will want to ask a friend to look after you, especially if the Dom/me you have played with lacks aftercare skills (which, they shouldn't... but there are a few callous Dom/mes out there!)

It is OK to let folks know before you start a scene that you are new to the scene. You may want to ask for advice, or even have a more experienced Dom or sub participate in the scene, demonstrating techniques and watching out for possible mistakes that may cause injury. Not only does this keep the sub safe, it improves your skills, and of course swells the head of the experienced Dom/me!

DO I NEED TO BRING A PARTNER?
You will want to think about bringing a partner, and negotiating a scene in advance so that you will be able to play without excessive discussion. Many players have different limits on things like nudity and levels of play when it comes to public play, so be sure to discuss these issues with your partner. If you are alone and thinking of finding someone at the party to play with, think carefully about your own limits and what you are looking for and how you will communicate that to a stranger. In the heat of passion it can be easy to agree to something that you might regret later. Never let a total stranger gag you so that you cannot speak during a scene - there is no way that they can know your limits and how you are feeling if you cannot communicate. You will want to bring some of your own toys along, especially if they are intimate items. If someone initiates contact with you, be prepared to talk openly and clearly about what kind of play you are looking for.

IN CLOSING
Listen to your own feelings about attending a play party. If you don't feel ready, don't go. If you feel uncomfortable once you are there, then leave if you need to. If you go, but decide it's not for you - then don't go to another one. But if you go and have a fabulous time, then knock yourself out!

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Sensuous Sadie is the founder of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's BDSM group. She also edits SCENEsubmissions, a free e-newsletter that goes to over 600 readers throughout New England and beyond. Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at BurlVTSub@aol.com. Sadie believes that the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.

Copyright September, 2001.


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SCENEprofiles INTERVIEW WITH SA KINAH, LEADER OF ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES UNITED (ALU) OF MAINE AND A GOREAN PRACTITIONER
Owned by Master Coldsteel

www.geocities.com/aluorg
sa_kinah@hotmail.com

SPECIAL NOTE: This is the first in a series introducing the Gorean Lifestyle. After this interview, there will be a series of columns written by Luther, a prolific writer in the area. The columns will run every few weeks.


SENSUOUS SADIE: WITH THE CAVEAT THAT YOU ARE NOT THE POSTER CHILD OF THE GOREAN LIFESTYLE, CAN YOU GIVE ME A SHORT DESCRIPTION OF THE GOREAN LIFESTYLE, AS IT IS DESCRIBED FORMALLY IN THE BOOKS, AND HOW THAT MAY OR MAY NOT DIFFER FROM YOUR INDIVIDUAL PRACTICE?

SK: As with any lifestyle choice there are a thousand different ways to live the Gorean lifestyle. There are, of course, some basic principals that are put across in the books. These basic principals are not filled with reality much of the time. For instance in the books by John Norman, slaves can be killed. We all know that is against the law here in the world of real people. Slaves on Gor have no rights whatsoever. Here, at least in America, slavery is against the law and all are guaranteed certain rights under the law. It is important to understand these differences, especially if you are going to try to follow a "Gorean philosophy." I am still very much a Gorean slave in training. The realities of life often times slow this progress down and gets in the way of being able to practice what I have learned. When there is a child in the house, you can’t always serve your Master his meal in the way that I was trained. It is only in rare cases when I can kneel before him and present his dinner in a traditional Gorean serve.

SS: IN THE CONTINUUM OF GOREAN LIFESTYLE PEOPLE, WHERE WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF AS REGARDING LIVING IT REAL TIME VERSUS JUST AS ROLE-PLAYING?

SK: I view role-playing as a scene that has a beginning and an ending time frame. That time period could be a few hours to a few days. It is a time when the participants ‘step into’ a persona in order to create a particular experience and/or atmosphere. Master and I do not "create" an experience we live it. It is there every day, it is part of who we are, it is our lifestyle. Even though circumstances don’t permit us to always be able to express who we are, he is still Master and I am still his property.

SS: SOME BDSM PLAYERS HAVE ISSUES WITH THE GOREAN LIFESTYLE BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO NOT FOLLOW THE SAFE-SANE-CONSENSUAL CREED IN THAT A SLAVE HAS BASICALLY NO RIGHTS OVER THEIR BODY OR THEIR LIFE. IS THIS CORRECT, AND IF SO, CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW THE LIFESTYLE OFFERS PROTECTION TO ITS PLAYERS.

SK: It is my belief that it is the people within the alternative lifestyles are the ones who determine SSC, not the lifestyle choice itself. In other words and unsafe dominant is an unsafe dominant whether he lives the Gorean lifestyle or not. What people have to realize is the works of John Norman were not meant to be a lifestyle to live. He wrote the series for pleasurable reading. They are science fiction. With that in mind, Safe-Sane-Consensual was never in his realm of thinking when he was writing those books. In fact, the concept of SSC didn’t even exist when the books were written. Even if the credo did exist it wouldn’t have mattered because he was not writing the books to be used as a lifestyle bible to be followed. It is the people who practice the lifestyle that protect themselves, not the lifestyle

SS: WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE TO BDSM'ERS WHO FEEL THAT LIVING A LIFESTYLE BASED ON A SERIES OF BOOKS (OF WHICH I HAVE READ THE AUTHOR DOES NOT SUPPORT PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVING OUT HIS STORIES IN REAL LIFE) IS AN ARTIFICIAL CONSTRUCT?

SK: I remember way back when I first visited a Gorean chat room. My first response is these are a bunch of people living in a fantasyland and they have no grip on reality at all. That was my first reaction to what I was seeing. It was my second reaction and my third! In fact, I continued to have these feelings for quite a long time. Yet, something kept pulling me to those rooms. I hardly ever participated in the chats I simply wanted to watch. Although I felt these people were playing in a fantasyland there was something beautiful to be seen here. There was for me a hidden message that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Something that drew me to the beautifully simple world of D/s and the mental dance that takes place between a Master and his slave. The Gorean lifestyle also intimidated me. I wanted to be a Gorean slave, but I was afraid to let myself become ‘one of those people.’ My response to others who feel I am one of those people living in a fantasyland is simple. You have to go beyond the books; beyond the chat rooms and beyond every preconceived notion you have ever had about this chosen path of lifestyle to truly understand it. There is so much more to it than crawling across a tavern in silks.

SS: WHAT DO YOU PERSONALLY GET OUT OF THE LIFESTYLE THAT MAKES IT SUPERIOR TO A MORE TRADITIONAL BDSM ARRANGEMENT?

SK: For me it is a state of mind. It is something more than a bedroom game. It fulfills my need to be owned by someone. Could I get that in a D/s relationship without the Gorean aspects? Probably, but Gor brings to me a sense of formality, a constant learning ground, a way for me to communicate with Master in an artistic way and a plain on which I feel I truly connect with. Do I feel Gor is superior to other forms of BDSM and D/s lifestyles? No, it is simply what works for our relationship. It’s not for everyone. It is superior for me because it meets the needs that I have.

SS: MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT ONCE YOU BECOME A SLAVE, YOU ARE NO LONGER FREE IN ANY WAY, AND HAVE NO RECOURSE OF ACTION TO REVERSE THIS PROCESS. ACCEPTING THAT THIS IS TRUE IN THE GOREAN LIFESTYLE, HOW DO YOU INTEGRATE THAT INTO OUR CULTURE, WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW CITIZENS TO LEGALLY GIVE UP THEIR RIGHTS? (I.E. YOU CAN'T SIGN AWAY YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS EVEN IF YOU WANT TO) IF THERE ARE NO SAFE WORDS, AND NO DISCUSSION ABOUT LIMITS, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A GOREAN MASTER TURNS OUT TO BE UNBALANCED IN SOME WAY AND IS ABUSIVE TO HIS PARTNER? HOW DO YOU NEGOTIATE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOUR ABILITY TO DISCUSS LIMITS IS NOT ON THE TABLE?

SK: What I am about to say relates to all forms of power exchange not just the Gorean lifestyle. It is important to know your partner well before you decide to enter into a power exchange with this person. Limits and safe words should be discussed beforehand, not after-the-fact. You need to determine if this is someone you can trust, someone who you can literally lay your life in his or her hands. Pertaining to the Gorean lifestyle and the slavery aspect of all of this there is one thing that people tend to forget. Because I am a slave does not mean I have absolutely no rights. What it does mean is I have the rights my Master allows me to have. Master allows me to discuss issues with him, as well as my feelings and fears. If he didn’t allow me to discuss these things with him we would have no chance at all for a healthy relationship. Even a Master/slave relationship requires communication for it to flourish. The difference between our relationship and a regular vanilla relationship when it comes to communication is how these discussions take place. They are done with respect and on his time frame, not mine. He allows me to do lots of things. He allows me the privilege of sleeping in a bed, he allows me to eat at the table, he allows me to have money. He does all of these things because he is aware of the reality of life. Can those privileges be taken away from me at any time? Sure! Through training I am learning to appreciate these privileges he has given to me. What I like most about our relationship is there are no games. I know what the rules are and I don't have to guess. Master does not try to play head games which is a huge factor in trust in any relationship in my opinion.

SS: WOMEN ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE SLAVES BECAUSE THEY ARE SMALLER AND LESS PHYSICALLY ADAPTED TO WARFARE. WHY IS IT THAT PHYSICAL PROWESS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN INTELLIGENCE AS REGARDING WHETHER A PERSON IS A SLAVE OR NOT?

SK: Intelligence is not the deciding factor, where the heart lays is the deciding factor. Most slaves are very intelligent. Intelligence makes a slave more valuable to their Master. We have to keep in mind that the Gor books are equally about warriors and men battling each other. These are not modern day battles. These are set back in a setting almost equal to those during cave man days. These battles take place when there is physical hand-to-hand combat and physical power is important. Sending a woman to do the kind of battles Norman created would probably mean her demise. What Norman created in his books is what he considered a "man’s world." It is simply his chosen path for his books and has very little to do with those that have chosen to live this lifestyle.

SS: MALE SLAVES MAKE UP A VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE LIFESTYLE. ARE THERE FEMALE DOMINANTS AT ALL? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A STRUCTURE THAT CAN APPEAR SEXIST IN THE EXTREME ON THE SURFACE? HOW DO YOU RESOLVE THIS ISSUE IN YOUR OWN MIND?

SK: This is sort of a difficult question to answer when putting it in the light of the novels. D/s was never the premise of Norman’s novels. It is a fantasy world that Norman created for men. This fantasy includes the fact that men protect and battle for their property and home stone and the slaves are there to care for them and fulfill their wishes. Great fantasy huh? Some of these things you can carry over into a lifestyle, some you can’t. There are free-women on Gor and they do have slaves. However, within the infrastructure that Norman created these women are still considered merely women and can be over powered at any time. Men are the rulers of Gor plain and simple. Is it sexist? You bet it is. Living the Gorean lifestyle is not for women who have a dominant personality if you are choosing to live it in respect to the books. My resolve in this is simple. If you are a dominant woman and you are choosing to live the Gorean lifestyle, then you will be open to scrutiny. I have no problem with dominant women that choose to lead this lifestyle because for me it is more about mind-set than what Norman wrote in his books.

SS: THE NOVELS STATE THAT WHILE LESS THAN 3% OF GOREANS OWN A SLAVE, SLAVERY IS VERY PROMINENT IN THE NOVELS AND IN FACT OFTEN NONCONSENSUAL. A WOMAN CAN BE KIDNAPPED AND FORCEFULLY COLLARED. ASIDE FROM USING THIS IDEA IN YOUR BDSM RELATIONSHIP, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS AS AN ACTUALITY?

SK: Using this philosophy in real life would be preposterous. I can’t say it has never been done before, but it is not something I would support in any way shape or form. In my opinion, when referring to slavery in the BDSM & Gorean lifestyles, it has to be consensual. A slave must be willing to please his/her Master. That is something that can’t be forced. Sure, you can kidnap someone (illegally) and forcefully collar them, but do they truly have the heart of a slave? Most likely not, they must come to this state of mind on their own. What the Master can do is to cultivate that slave and make them their slave.

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SS: PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR POSITION WITH ALU, AND HOW IT GOT STARTED.

SK: ALU got started with the idea of uniting people involved in any alternative lifestyle. We felt a need within the community here in Maine for something a bit less formal and more social. Education is a wonderful thing and I support those who want to educate others as much as I support those who seek it. What we were looking for and felt the community needed was a place for other like-minded individuals was a place to kick back and relax and socialize. In the creation of ALU we decided to create ALUR, Inc. ALUR, Inc has the specific goal of providing retreats for alternative lifestylers. So far, ALUR, Inc. has held one retreat with the plans of having several more. In fact, we are having our next retreat in a few weeks. It has been a wonderful experience to be able to provide such a place locally here in New England. My position with the organization is publicity. It’s my job to get the word out about the organization and the events it holds. I don’t do this alone though. There is a lot of behind the scenes work that is done by everyone in ALU/ALUR, Inc.

SS: HOW HAS YOUR LEADERSHIP POSITION AFFECTED YOUR PERSONAL PRACTICE OF BDSM?

SK: Master and I are both part of the group that founded ALU/ALUR, Inc. For the most part we do not discuss the organizational issues and try to keep it separate from our relationship. We do this for a couple of reasons. One of the major reasons is because when we are at shareholder meetings or meetings where we are making some major decisions, for me to be effective I need to be able to speak in a business forum rather than the traditional way of a slave or submissive. In other words, this is business and has nothing to do with our relationship. Otherwise, business could start to interfere with our relationship and we certainly do not want our relationship to interfere with good business. If either of these things were to start to happen I would have to resign my position in ALUR, Inc. Our relationship comes first and foremost.

SS: WHAT ARE YOUR HOPES FOR ALU IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS?

SK: My hopes for ALU in the next five years is simple. I would hope that we can continue to provide a safe, relaxed atmosphere for people to meet others. The ultimate dream is of course to own our place to do this in. Who knows, it just may come true. J

SS: YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON A BDSM COOKBOOK. HOW IS THAT PROJECT GOING?

SK: Ah, the cookbook. This is a very slow process! This project is something I see taking more than just a few months to complete. I have received many recipes so far and I am still collecting them. If anyone has a recipe they would like to be included in this book please send them to me at sa_kinah@hotmail.com

SS: IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO ADD THAT MIGHT INTEREST OUR READERS?

SK: I’d like to add that there are so many people that aid in the progress of ALU and ALUR, Inc. It has been a most wonderful experience getting to know new people. I’ve learned so much from the people I’ve met as a result of being a group leader and hope to continue to learn and meet new people. ALU and ALUR, Inc. are a result of a lot of careful planning and consideration. We meet every third Saturday of the month at Rockin’ Robbin’s at the Promenade Mall in Lewiston, Maine from 4-6 PM. We welcome everyone in any alternative lifestyle as well as those who are just curious. It’s about meeting others, growing with others and simply having a good time.

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SOME GOREAN LIFESTYLE REFERENCES
http://www.silkandsteel.com/
http://www.geocities.com/sammrnc/Sanctuary_of_Voltai.html
http://gornews.thenewmatrix.net/
http://anzwers.net/hot/gorean/home.html
http://www.goreanwhispers.com/
http://slaveheart.0catch.com/welcome.html
http://www.bdsmrealm.net/article.php?sid=33


ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES UNITED - ALU/ALUR
www.geocities.com/aluorg
aluorg@yahoo.com
P.O. Box 8012
Lewiston, Maine 04243-8012

ALU meets every third Saturday of the month at Augustine's in Lewiston Maine. This is a social group for people of alternative lifestyles who wish to unite and meet others.

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If you enjoyed this interview, read more SCENEprofiles with BDSM personalities on Sadie's website at www.epedominion.net/sensuoussadie


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A SUBMISSIVES HEART
By Master Chuck, co-leader of Kinky Times of Rhode Island
masterchuck@kinkytimes.com

To look inside ones heart
The most difficult place to navigate
Emotion blinds us at every turn
Our hopes, our past, our fears
They all blur together as one
We seek but do we wish to truly find
It terrifies us so and yet we are compelled
We can hide from what we find by day
But by night it falls heavy upon us

It is brave to look inside one’s heart
It scares us what we find
So we hide from all we know is true
But it eats our flesh from deep inside
It never lets us rest
Peace will never come
For cruel our heart will make us see
What scares us most what makes us thee

Let someone in
How dare we think
For this space is ours to suffer alone
It is our right to live in fear
Let our heart hold captive our soul
Who should know me oh so well
That I could trust my secrets to
My fears are mine to keep alone
Yet I can’t shed them on my own

My heart is not my enemy
It’s my friend and I must come to see
Trust in it though I am afraid
For live I must or die I shall
An empty shell on a lonely beach
Let this not be my fate
Let me live and take the risk
All I stand to lose is life
Which unless I live I’ve sacrificed


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Copyright 04-10-02


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YOU MIGHT BE A WANNABE DOM..... HUMOR
~ Anonymous

If you ever use the phrase "A real sub wouldn't have a problem doing that"...

you might be a Wannabe If you think the word "submissive" means the same thing as "easy"...

you might be a Wannabe If you think leading your sub around by a leash in the supermarket is appropriate entertainment for everyone...

you might be a Wannabe If you think it's perfectly acceptable to address all submissives as "slut"...

you might be a Wannabe If you think SSC stands for "See Submissives Cower"...

you might be a Wannabe If your vanity plate reads "MSTR-2-U"...

you might be a Wannabe If you enter a chat room and command all the subs to call you Sir...

you might be a Wannabe If you're trying to book a flight to GOR...

you might be a Wannabe If you think all subs put out on the first date...

you might be a Wannabe If you think the only purpose for nipple piercing is to have a place to hang your car keys...

you might be a Wannabe If you think the GOR novels are based in fact...

you might be a Wannabe If you can't understand why a sub refuses to meet you for the first time alone at your place...

you might be a Wannabe If you think limits are nothing you need to consider seriously...

you might be a Wannabe If you think safewords are for sissies...

you might be a Wannabe If you think placing a "Sir" or "Master" in front of your nick name automatically makes you a Dom...

you might be a Wannabe If you think R/L is just like cyber...

you might be a Wannabe If you think using lube for fisting or anal play is too kind...

you might be a Wannabe (or a really mean sadist) If you have to constantly refer to the owner's manual to use your toys...

you might be a Wannabe If you think Dom's can't show their feelings and need to be cold and aloof...

you might be a Wannabe If you have any reason to fear ATF Agents could confiscate your toys...

you might be a Wannabe If you think the KGB Interrogation Manual is the definitive "how to" book for BDSM...

you might be a Wannabe. If you think sterile needles for play piercing are too expensive to only use once...

you might be a Wannabe If household items don't inspire you (wooden spoons, clothespins, etc.)...

you might be a Wannabe If you think electricity play consists of plug in socket/exposed wires touching sub...

you might be a Wannabe If you think a bullwhip is the best choice for a warm up tool...

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DSSG PRESENTS S/M'ER CAMP
email: info@dssg.org to register or for further information or visit the website at http://www.dssg.org/camp.htm
Announcing Ontario's first Outdoor BDSM Play Weekend!
Friday, August 16, 2002 - Sunday, August 18, 2002
Turkey Point, Ontario, Canada

When was the last time you went to S/Mer Camp? How long has it been since you've engaged in some arboreal bondage? Are you interested in D/s in The Great Outdoors? DSSG has booked an entire Campground with room for 150+ tents DSSG S/Mer Camp is a weekend of camping, kinky play, education, fun and food cooked over a wood fire. The Point is an ADULTS ONLY, fully equipped campground in the Port Dover area of Ontario, easily accessible from the northeastern United States as well as Ontario and Quebec. Registration Includes: 2 Nights Campsite Accommodation (Tents only) (each camper is responsible for bringing their own camping equipment)

Throughout the Weekend: * BDSM Vendors Area * Hot Tubs * Clothing Optional Swimming Pool * Both Tented & Outdoor Fully Equipped Play Areas * Dungeon Monitors during Fri. and Sat. Night Parties * Food Concession * Play Permitted at Individual Campsites * And Other Delights For A Kinky Crowd... Friday: * Corn Roast and Chili Dinner * Kinky Karaoke * Tented and Outdoor Play Party Saturday: * Seminars and Demonstrations throughout the day including: + Bullwhip Demonstrations + Outdoor Bondage and Suspension + FirePlay + KnifePlay + Flogging + PonyPlay + Caning + and much more... * Spit Roasted Beef Dinner * Tented and Outdoor Play Party Sunday: Continental Breakfast before we pack our gear for next year!

REGISTRATION FEES:
After May 1, 2002:
$175 (Cdn) per person
$115 (US) per person

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BDSM WEBSITE OF THE WEEK - RECOMMENDED BY OUR READERS:

http://www.bdsmu.com/page_misc_default.html
A Perfect World - Master Stern & slave yielding's BDSM Lifestyle, A Division of the BDSM University System. This site expresses the ideas and opinions of Master Stern & slave yielding. BDSMU encourages personal research into various philosophies & practices.

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ADMINISTRIVIA

ABOUT OUR EDITOR - SENSUOUS SADIE
I'm Sensuous Sadie - editor and all around diva of this publication. I am the founder of our local BDSM group Rose & Thorn, and developed this newsletter as an events announcement forum for R&T. Over time, readers started sending me columns, poems, humor and quotes and it grew into something more. I have a passion for information dissemination and this is one way I express that passion. Of course it's also fun to have a platform for my own BDSM column series - The Art Of BDSM.

When I stepped down from leadership of R&T in January of 2002, we decided to detach this newsletter because it had developed into something much larger than a local rag. We now have over 600 readers in New England mostly, and some beyond. So, we'll be focusing more on a New England perspective, although I'll probably always give a bit of preference to my cohorts here in our snowy Green Mountains. I hope you will consider contributing to this newsletter and building the larger BDSM community.

You can reach me at BurlVTSub@aol.com or visit my website (and see a steamy photo of me) at www.epedominion.net/sensuoussadie

REGIONAL VT & NEW ENGLAND BDSM EVENT & ANNOUNCEMENT LIST
Check out the list anytime at my website: www.epedominion.net/sensuoussadie
It includes:
BDSM Groups in Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Connecticut, Montreal/Canada, and New England general
One Time BDSM Events
General BDSM Announcements and Invitations

VISIT THE EROTIC POWER EXCHANGE DOMINION READING ROOM FOR STEAMY STORIES, SEXY POETRY, SPICY HUMOR & SCANDALOUS QUOTES
PLUS free BDSM newsletters and columns from BDSM community leaders. EPE Dominion is the generous host of my website as well as many other BDSM groups.
www.epedominion.com/library

QUIT YER BITCHIN - SEND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR!
Send them to me! I LOVE letters reaming me out for my views. I'll print your comments in all their unedited glory and let the community castigate you for your inability to write a complete sentence. I also welcome thoughtful ramblings about whatever BDSM topic you fancy. Send them to BurlVTSub@aol.com

WANT TO BE OFF THE MAILING LIST?
No hard feelings! Just e-mail burlvtsub@aol.com.

WANT TO BE **ON** THE MAILING LIST?
Are you getting this newsletter forwarded from someone else? Just e-mail burlvtsub@aol.com and we'll put you on the mailing list. It's FREE! Write to BurlVTSub@aol.com

PUBLISHING POLICY
Articles must be BDSM related

Non Fiction only (except for poetry and humor). This is an educational forum.

We must have copyright permission to reprint articles.

We will not edit your work so please make sure it is proofread. Please note if I can use your name and e-mail address so readers can respond to you directly.

We will treat you with courtesy and respect and we expect the same. Do not expect us to run your information if you are acting like a jerk.

We only run listings for established BDSM groups that are in alignment with our values. We do not list private play parties.

If you have a concern about the newsletter, please write us about it and include suggestions for fixing the problem. Insults with no corresponding suggestions will not be responded to. For example - one reader accused the newsletter of being "CyberDomme." That may or may not be true, as many of the writers are indeed women, but it did not suggest any solutions (such as this male writer offering to write some articles.)