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A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big
difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual
thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing.
~ DominaBlue
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SCENEsubmissions
Sunday, May 12th 2002
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IN THIS STEAMING ISSUE
The Continuum of BDSM Play - Play Parties and That Whole Dilemma - By
Sensuous Sadie
SCENEprofiles Interview With Laura Goodwin, Leader Of United Leatherfolk
Of Connecticut
Part 1 of 4 Gorean Lifestyle Series - By Luther
He's the One - Poetry
BDSM website of the week
ADMINISTRIVIA
About Sadie And The Mission Of This Newsletter
What's Going On Around New England in BDSM? Our Regional Events List.
Visit the Erotic Power Exchange Dominion for steamy stories, sexy
poetry, spicy humor & scandalous quotes
How To Get Off Or On The Mailing List, Newsletter Policy etc.
================(())==================
THE CONTINUUM OF BDSM PLAY - PLAY PARTIES AND THAT WHOLE DILEMMA
By Sensuous Sadie
BurlVTSub@aol.com
The day came when I was invited to my very first play party. I was
thrilled. I imagined a scene like in Caligula, with couples writhing in
passion and taking breaks only to recharge their sugar batteries with
caramel pastries and fat grapes. I imagined Dante's Hell; submissives
screaming in pain, the flames of torment illuminating their faces with a
red-orange glow.
As usual, my imagination was a bit over the top.
Deep down, I knew the party wouldn't really be any of those things,
although it would have been kind of cool if it was. Considering my own
exhibitionistic tendencies, I expected to revel in the atmosphere. I
expected to witness some real passion, real sex, real humiliation.
Maybe I was just hoping that I'd see more than I'd seen so far. I'd been
in few demonstrations, both as dominant and submissive. Then there was
the dinner parties with playtime serving as dessert. Not to mention the
threesomes, foursomes, and otherwisesomes.
The challenge is that it's not exactly clear where private play becomes
public play, or even how you define "play." Is "public" play determined
by the number of people in attendance? Is three enough? Is ten enough?
Or do you really need a maddening crowd?
Does a demonstration qualify as play? How about when I order my
submissive around at a party? Do I have to actually be doing a scene
complete with a fistful of accoutrements? And what about that business
on the maple table when we'd all finished dessert?
Is it about whether or not you achieve Dom or sub space? If that was
true, then some of my private scenes wouldn't qualify as scenes.
What if I was at a "real" play party, but there was no emotional or
spiritual connection? Does play require a present mind, or is it enough
to just thrash away?
If there was one common denominator to all these situations that I found
myself in, it was that I felt nothing. No passion. No connection. No
voyeuristic lust. In fact, the overall feeling was one of detachment
with a theatrics chaser. I worked the stage, worked the crowd; they
worked me. I may well have appeared to go into a different headspace,
but most of it was an act. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy myself,
only that it was a shadow of the real thing.
I also discovered that watching leaves me cold. I know that the person
in the scene is probably feeling something, maybe something amazing, but
I'm unable to connect to that feeling. I see the event - someone
standing there lashed to a Saint Andrew's cross, and another person
swinging a flogger back and forth. Yet for me there is no emotional
content, no synergism.
The other part of the public play issue is the play itself. Around the
same time that I was observing my own disengagement with the public
aspect of things, I also decided not to do "casual" play anymore. By
casual play, I mean with partners with whom I'm not engaged on some kind
of emotional or spiritual level. Some people also call this topping and
bottoming because there is not the commitment of a "true"
Dominant/submissive relationship. I found that after having a deep
connection with Jeffrey, a submissive who I truly loved, playing on the
casual level felt empty. I guess once you've been to the buffet, it's
real hard to go back. This means that I'm getting a lot less than I used
to. On the other hand, what I do get has a lot more flavor.
During my third play party, I found myself wishing that the whole darn
thing would be over and I could curl up with a good mystery instead.
Obviously, this just plain wasn't working for me. In my mind and heart,
domination or submission is an intensely personal act. It calls to my
spiritual side, demands focus and attention and privacy. Just as my
spiritual self does not flourish in a crowd, my BDSM nature requires the
solitude of silence. It is only in those quiet dark moments that I am
most in touch with Spirit, most in touch with my partner, most in touch
with myself.
Once I made the decision not to attend public events, and wrote about it
of course, the next step was to defend that decision. I suppose that
some readers felt that I was criticizing their choice to attend play
parties. In fact I've written about the many good things that play
events can offer, especially from an educational perspective. I'm not
saying that I'll never play in a group again, only that it is not my
modus operendi. I kind of understand people not getting it though.
Considering the glamour that's attached to play parties, I suppose that
not going to them makes me a bit of an odd duck.
Fellow players take me aside and tell me about the continuum of play,
about how many people start out playing privately and as they become
more comfortable with the community, they work up to playing in public.
I get the feeling they're trying to convince me that at some point I'll
be "ready" for public play.
That's the assumption that really annoys me. That my not playing in
public is not so much a choice among many but that somehow I'm "not
ready."
For me, the continuum went the opposite way. I started out enamored with
the idea of public play but moved the other way, toward mostly private
play. I wonder why it is that I can't just be where I am with the
choices I've made, without it being something that people want me to
change. I wonder why the heck anyone would really care whether or not I
shake my bon bon in public. I wonder why they assume that this is
something that should change, or will change. As if somehow I'd be a
better person, happier and more fulfilled, if I was attending play
parties regularly.
I also sometimes hear other undercurrents, although these are not
usually directed at me (for obvious reasons). Sometimes people assume
that players are ashamed of their bodies, and that must be why they
don't want to play in public. Or maybe they think that novices wouldn't
want to do public play because their inexperience would show. I'm sure
that both of these things are true for different people at different
times, and so that's why I laid it on the table (never let it be said
that I ducked any issues).
In a way I suppose that this orientation reflects my vanilla lifestyle.
Despite appearances, I'm a quiet introspective sort. My most connected
and spiritual moments are usually alone, or sometimes with one person.
So I guess it makes sense that my BDSM experience might follow the same
path. My hope is not that people will follow my lead and avoid play
parties, but rather that they will understand that every lifestyle
choice is a legitimate one and needs no explaining.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sensuous Sadie is a BDSM columnist and edits SCENEsubmissions, a free
e-newsletter for the New England area and beyond. She is the founder and
leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group.
Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting
can be addressed to her at BurlVTSub@aol.com. Sadie believes that the
universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of
this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.
Copyright March, 2002.
================(())==================
SCENEprofiles INTERVIEW WITH LAURA GOODWIN, LEADER OF UNITED LEATHERFOLK
OF CONNECTICUT (ULC)
http://lauragoodwin.org/folk.html
laura@lauragoodwin.org
SENSUOUS SADIE: YOU ARE A WRITER, ACTIVIST AND SEXUAL RIGHTS ADVOCATE IN
ADDITION TO BEING THE LEADER OF THE UNITED LEATHERFOLK OF CONNECTICUT.
WHAT WAS THE PROCESS THAT YOU WENT THROUGH FROM BECOMING JUST ANOTHER
PLAYER TO SOMEONE WITH A FINGER IN SO MANY PIES?
LAURA: This may sound corny, but I felt called to it. I have an active
spiritual life, and through atonement and prayer I felt myself being led
by a divine hand to be of service in this way.
SS: YOU HAVE RECEIVED A NUMBER OF AWARDS AND RECOGNITION. WHICH ARE THE
ONES THAT MEAN THE MOST TO YOU, AND WHY?
L: I believe I was most pleased with my Pantheon award, because a woman
who had been horrible to me was up for the same award that year, and it
was a fine "in your face!" to the likes of her. That, I feel, was the
work of the divine hand again.
SS: YOU ARE AN AVID BDSM COLUMNIST. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PUBLISHING YOUR
COLUMNS?
L: Oh, I have been published many times, but I derive more satisfaction
from publishing myself on the internet. It's much faster, I get a bigger
audience, and I don't have to deal with editors, some of whom are
absolute butchers.
SS: ULC HAS BEEN UNDER THE SAME LEADERSHIP WITHOUT CRISIS FOR YOUR
ENTIRE HISTORY. CONSIDERING THE NORMAL STRIFE OF ANY ORGANIZATION, AND
THE FACT THAT BDSM GROUPS SEEM TO REALLY GROOVE ON POWER POLITICKING, TO
WHAT DO YOU ASCRIBE THIS SUCCESS?
L: I've noticed that many club problems arise not out of love of power,
but out of a desire to control the money, so I charge no membership fee.
If there is no money sitting around in a bank account, then people can't
play "Capture The Flag" with it, and have to find happier games.
My people are happy with my leadership. I meet my member's most basic
needs, and I'm dependable about it. If they have a complaint they know
they can simply talk to me, and I get few complaints. What complaints I
do get, I deal with promptly.
SS: YOU SAY THAT MOST PEOPLE AT YOUR PLAY PARTIES DON'T HAVE INTERCOURSE
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE "NOT THAT EXHIBITIONISTIC." I TEND TO THINK OF THE
ENTIRE PLAY PARTY EXPERIENCE AS ONE BIG THEATRICAL EXHIBITION. HOW DO
YOU DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN SEXUAL EXHIBITIONISM AND BDSM EXHIBITIONISM?
L: I don't. They are the same thing. I've learned that the people who
enjoy playing in a public environment do not represent the true majority
in the BDSM world. My experience has taught me that the majority of BDSM
people prefer to play and have sex privately, because to them, sex - and
anything relating to it - is a private matter. You won't see those
people in huge numbers at the public events. They're very secretive, but
nonetheless dedicated.
As for why some people can play publicly but not have sex publicly, it's
for the same reason they are OK about going skinny-dipping with friends
as opposed to having sex while your friends watch. It's a matter of
degree. Many people could do the first one but never the other. In fact,
people who can do one but not the latter I believe are the norm.
SS: YOU WRITE: "BDSM RELATIONSHIPS ARE *SEXUAL* RELATIONSHIPS. EVEN IF
YOU NEVER FUCK, THE WHOLE POINT OF A BDSM RELATIONSHIP IS KINKY
EROTICISM. PEOPLE WHO SAY OTHERWISE REALLY *WORRY* ME. I MEAN,
SADOMASOCHISM BY DEFINITION IS SEXUAL. IF YOU TAKE THE SEX OUT, IT'S NOT
REALLY S/M ANYMORE." YOU HAVE PROBABLY RECEIVED SOME CRITICISMS ABOUT
THIS STATEMENT. WHAT'S YOUR RESPONSE TO THE SCHOOL OF THOUGHT THAT BDSM
IN ITS PURE FORM IS NOT ABOUT SEX, BUT ONLY ABOUT THE POWER EXCHANGE?
WHY DO YOU THINK THERE IS SO MUCH FOCUS ON THE NON-SEXUAL ASPECT OF
BDSM?
L: Well, people who say that BDSM is not about sex are simply unclear on
the concept. Sadomasochism by definition is an erotic paraphilia. Some
sadomasochists don't need intercourse or whatever to have orgasm, but
that's because they have substituted something else.
There are some showboats who are so into far-out pain-play or whatever
that they set the sex aside completely, but they are not better or purer
in any way than the rest of us are, they just like to think that they
are. I feel that saying that "Pure BDSM is not about sex" is just a
fancy new way to say that sex is dirty, that sex dirties BDSM, which I
don't happen to agree about.
SS: YOU STATE : "VANILLAS ARE NOT GOING TO SUPPORT US IN A FIGHT TO
LEGALIZE PRO DOMINATION, OR THE RIGHT TO DRAG EACH OTHER AROUND ON
LEASHES IN FRONT OF THEIR KIDS. MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH THAT FACT." WHAT IS
YOUR APPROACH TO EDUCATING THE GENERAL PUBLIC ABOUT WHAT WE DO? WHAT DO
YOU SEE AS THE OPTIMAL CONSIDERING THE LIMITATIONS.
L: I know for certain that vanillas can and do support our rights to
privacy, and to consent to BDSM, but they are very turned off by the
details. The less they know about what we are doing, the better. If I
were an opponent of the movement, I would use the dirty details as a
weapon to stir up repugnance in public feeling. Vanillas don't like what
we do: that's what makes them vanilla. They have to be told only what
they need to know so they know what BDSM is. We have to emphasize that
people consent to these things knowingly, because they think it makes
for a fine personal adventure. We have to emphasize that BDSM is in
essence an erotic sport and therefore a private matter. Us tying each
other up isn't what bothers them: THAT they understand. What they don't
understand is the more extreme forms such as bloodletting games. We
can't expect that they'll ever really understand that stuff. Even some
of our own people don't understand it.
If you rent a mistress by the hour that to them is prostitution. That's
good. Let them think that way. We don't want them thinking that they are
not right when they are. Let's be honest with ourselves and with the
public about pros for hire. Sex *is* going on in those sessions. BDSM is
sexual.
It's very wrongheaded for people in the BDSM community to keep trying to
foist obvious falsehoods on the public. If we want their friendship, we
have to be a friend to them, and be honest. Friends don't lie to each
other. Vanillas can handle the truth, but if they discover we haven't
been honest they will turn on us.
Renting yourself out by the hour to whip people is a form of sex work.
No more bullshit, please. Sex work in all its forms should be
decriminalized, but that issue should be a separate issue from BDSM
rights. Hiring a pro is not the same as one spouse spanking another as a
prelude to sex. It's just not.
SS: IT'S VERY COMMON FOR NOVICES TO GET INTO THAT "SUBMISSIVE FRENZY"
THING AND CONFUSE CASUAL PLAY WITH INTIMACY. CONSIDERING HOW THE CASUAL
ATMOSPHERE OF INSTANT PARTNERS AND PLAY PARTIES ENCOURAGES NON-INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIPS, HOW WOULD YOU ADVISE PEOPLE TO FIND INTIMATE BDSM
RELATIONSHIPS?
L: An intimate relationship has to be built up brick-by-brick. The
frenzy you speak of is a normal, human thing. Under the right
circumstances, if all goes well, it will happen very quickly. It's a
beautiful thing, but it is not true intimacy. Intimacy happens over
time, through shared experience and trial. The problem is people use the
word intimacy as a euphemism for sex. If people would simply appreciate
sex for what it is, and call it what it is, we'd be less likely to see
such confusions. I would like to see people honoring sex more, then they
would feel less need to pretend it's something it's not. To feel caught
up in a sexual frenzy is divine. There used to be whole religions built
around that. I would like to see a resurgence of ecstasy religions, and
in fact I think BDSM people are poised to lead such a resurgence.
Wouldn't that be grand!?
SS: IN ONE OF YOUR COLUMNS YOU WRITE "IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR LOVE DON'T
GO WHOLE HOG ON THE FIRST FRINGING DATE. DON'T BUY EXPENSIVE GIFTS OR GO
RENTING MOTEL ROOMS BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER." BUT OF COURSE YOU
PROBABLY KNOW, SINCE YOU HAD TO SAY THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THAT THIS
HAPPENS ALL THE TIME - OFTEN FOLLOWED BY DISAPPOINTMENT. HOW CAN NOVICES
KEEP THEIR HEADS?
L: By listening to their heads instead of their genitals.
SS: YOU COMMENTED THAT "SEX IN A YOUNG RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE TRYING TO
CLIMB A SAPLING...IT'S TOO EASY, IT WON'T GET YOU VERY HIGH, AND IT
COULD RUIN THINGS FOR THE FUTURE." GEEZE LAURA, YOU'RE SOUNDING LIKE A
REAL OLD FASHIONED GIRL! DO YOU FIND THAT THESE KIND OF IDEAS, WHICH
INCIDENTALLY I AGREE WITH, SET YOU OFF SOMEWHAT IN A COMMUNITY THAT
SEEMS TO VALUE HEDONISM?
L: Well, it's true I seem like an oddball when compared with the 600
people who regularly turn up at the big BDSM conventions, but those
people are unusual. When I'm compared with BDSM people at large who are
"out there" playing in their bedrooms and basements all across our
nation, I'm in real good company. Compared to many of them, I'm pretty
progressive. There are many BDSM people who honestly believe that this
stuff should only occur between (heterosexual) husband and wife. Many of
them are not only homophobic, but they don't even think single
heterosexuals should be horsing around in this manner. To them pro
dominants are just fancy whores in fancy underwear with fancy tricks.
And big BDSM play parties are out of the question: Sodom and Gomorrah.
The punks taking over.
People like Janet Hardy and John Warren seem to think that all BDSM
people who matter live on the cutting edge of all social movements. They
are wrong. They address their books to people who represent a tiny and
very progressive faction. Most BDSM practitioners do not in fact agree
that Gays should have rights and that Prostitution should be legal. Many
BDSM people have been left out of the movement, and their needs aren't
being addressed, basically because they fail these political litmus
tests. Nevertheless, they are our people, and they have to be taken care
of somehow, or else we aren't really serving the entire BDSM community.
SS: YOU WRITE "SOME PEOPLE VERY PERVERSELY DON'T JUST GO AWAY AFTER THEY
SCENE/HAVE SEX WITH YOU." I HAVE CERTAINLY EXPERIENCED THIS MYSELF, AS
WELL AS HEARD THE SAD STORIES OF MY COMPATRIOTS. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT
THIS HAPPENS BECAUSE WE PLAYED WITH THE PERSON TOO EARLY
L: Basically, yes.
SS: PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OWN BDSM PRACTICE AND HOW IT HAS CHANGED
OVER TIME.
L: I started out being rather brutal, and I also felt, in the beginning,
a big need to show off. I have mellowed.
SS: HAS YOUR BEING SUCH AN ACTIVIST ALSO AFFECTED WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR
PRIVATE LIFE?
L: I divorced one husband and married another because of it. Because I
became a public activist I had to tell my children more than the average
BDSM parent would. Also, one of my brothers cut me out of his life over
it. That was a heartbreaker.
SS: YOU STATE THAT "WE BELIEVE THAT BONDAGE AND DISCIPLINE, FANTASY
ROLE-PLAY, SENSUAL SADOMASOCHISM, EROTIC "TORTURE" ETC. CAN BE A
SATISFYING PART OF A WELL-BALANCED LIFE." HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT THE
LIFESTYLE COMPLIMENTS AND ADDS TO YOUR PERSONAL LIFE?
L: Well, I think of it more as something that detracts from your life
quite severely if you don't satisfy the need. If you satisfy your need
it's no big deal, but if you don't, it just eats at you from within. I
think it's much healthier for leatherfolk to get their needs met. That's
how it becomes a positive part of a healthy life.
SS: I SUSPECT THAT CONSIDERING YOUR VERY PUBLIC ROLE [NOT TO MENTION
BEING SOMETHING OF A HOTTIE], YOU HAVE SUBMISSIVES HITTING ON YOU RIGHT
AND LEFT.
L: No, that's not true. I have as much trouble in finding a new partner
as anybody else does.
SS: WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A SUBMISSIVE?
L: Someone decent who turns me on, and who likes my jokes.
SS: HOW WOULD YOU CHARACTERIZE YOUR PHILOSOPHICAL APPROACH TO THE
LIFESTYLE?
L: Enjoy yourself and stay out of trouble.
SS: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN YOUR BDSM LIFE IN FIVE YEARS?
L: Where I am now is good. I love my slave husband and I have lots of
adorable friends. If I can just maintain this I'll be content.
SS: I AM VERY INTERESTED IN THE SPIRITUALITY OF BDSM AND AM EXPLORING
THAT. COULD YOU PLEASE EXPAND ON HOW YOU INTEGRATE THIS INTO YOUR
LIFESTYLE? CAN YOU SUGGEST ANY RESOURCES FOR MORE INFORMATION?
L: Spirituality is much more than an interest to me. It's my entire
motivation. It's where I am coming from. I integrate every thing else in
my life into my spirituality. I feel myself to be Goddess-led. Her hand
is upon my heart at all times. I do not integrate my spirituality into
my life: my spirituality is my life.
I was led to study the roots of sexual oppression, to better understand
how leatherfolk got into our current predicament. I found out that the
history of sexual oppression is a very long one. The demonization of the
Goddess and the denigration of woman began thousands of years ago, when
patriarchal forces overthrew the old matriarchies. The attitude that sex
is dirty began then. Patriarchies depend on knowing who the father is,
so woman's sexual freedoms under the patriarchies were severely
curtailed. People who didn't toe the line were severely punished, as
they still are in many ways even today.
That is where the double-standard began. Men under the patriarchies
always enjoyed more freedoms than the women did. This is where the
attitude that penetration = dominance, and this attitude still is
amazingly prevalent. For example, many BDSM people believe that it's
inappropriate for a dominant of either sex to enjoy being penetrated.
That is where the attitude that sexual freedom is bad began. Women and
men enjoyed much sexual freedom under Matriarchal rule, but the
Patriarchies stopped all of that, mainly to control women (to know who
the father was). Even today, many people think that sex is bad, and that
sexier sex (example: BDSM) is worse.
To undo the damage done, we have to heal our relationship with nature,
and that means to reclaim the divinity of womanhood and the dignity of
sex. Men and women have to learn to accept, honor, and love our own
sexual selves, and we have to accept, honor, and love each other.
Just being into BDSM doesn't do this automatically. As has been seen,
there are strong sexist and puritanical forces even within the BDSM
community. I see the "BDSM is not necessarily sexual" attitude as a
manifestation of the same toxic Puritanism that has tainted vanilla sex
relations.
I believe the Patriarchal way of doing things has run its course. Our
problem now is to find a new way of living that is more healthful,
practical, and just. We can't go back to the Matriarchal way of doing
things: we have to move forward. That's what the Goddess has me working
on now. What She wants *you* to be working on is between you and Her.
If you want to learn more about the divine in your life, the best source
for information and inspiration is your own heart. Let the divine guide
your hand and heart, and you will be led to the books, the
relationships, and the other resources that are perfect for you.
WHAT HOPES DO YOU HAVE FOR THE COMMUNITY AT LARGE?
L: That it will continue to become more of a true international nation -
without boundaries and without limits.
SS: IT'S NO SECRET THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH THINGY ON CAPTAIN KIRK
OF THE ORIGINAL STAR TREK SERIES. SO AS NOT TO HAVE THIS INTERVIEW BE
INCOMPLETE, WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPAND ON THIS? ANY PARTICULAR SHOWS THAT
HAD A NICE BDSM THEME THAT YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?
L: The best way for me to answer that question is to invite people to my
Silly Star Trek Obsession web site:
http://lauragoodwin.org/tos.html
SS: JUST A SIDE NOTE THAT YOU "HAND-CODE" YOUR WEBSITE. WITH SO MANY
DESIGNERS USING WYSIWYG WEB DESIGN SOFTWARE, WHAT DO YOU FEEL THAT
PERSONAL CODED TOUCH HAS ADDED TO YOUR WEBSITE? WOULD YOU CARE TO STEP
ON THE SOAPBOX AND EDUCATE THOSE OF US WHO ARE IGNORANT ON THE BEAUTIES
OF HAND-CODING?
L: HTML is not difficult to learn, and coding your own produces leaner,
cleaner code. The web pages load faster, and you have more precise
control over the appearance and layout of your site. I admire the
fancy-looking web sites as much as anybody, but they are big bandwidth
hogs. Many people still access the net at 56K, and you have to be
concerned about the quality of their experience when they visit your
site.
"What You See Is What You Get" editors are misnamed. You _don't see_ a
lot of what you get, including bloated, unnecessarily convoluted code.
Plus, you end up with a web site that is not distinctive looking. A web
site that is made with a cookie-cutter template lacks soul. It's like
the difference between polyester pants and blue jeans. I never was
satisfied to keep my car clean and shiny. I always have to tinker under
the hood. That's why I built my own computer, too. I gave birth to my
kids at home, too. I'm a real do-it-yourselfer. I like to know what make
things work, so I can play with making it work better.
SS: Thank you very much!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UNITED LEATHERFOLK OF CT
a non-profit BDSM support/social group.
http://lauragoodwin.org/folk.html
laura@lauragoodwin.org
United Leatherfolk of CT (Pansexual) founded in March 1990, is a
non-profit support and social group for BDSM men and women of all
orientations. Intimate and very friendly. Not public. No fees. Contact
me via email if you wish to be considered for membership. This club is
especially welcoming and helpful for singles and newbies, but
enthusiasts at all levels of development will be comfortable with us.
Don't be alone in a crowd: join ULC for the personal attention you need.
Email Laura Goodwin for membership info.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you enjoyed this interview, read more SCENEprofiles with BDSM
personalities on Sadie's website at www.epedominion.net/sensuoussadie
================(())==================
REAL TIME GOR - AN INTRODUCTION TO GOR
By Luther
SPECIAL NOTE: This is part ONE of a series of four articles introducing
the Gorean Lifestyle. Luther is a prolific writer and the subject and
you can find a wide array of columns on the subject on his website:
http://www.geocities.com/delphius2002/
The first part of this Gorean Lifestyle series included an interview
with Sa Kinah of ALU in Maine who is a practitioner. You can read that
interview and other SCENEprofiles on Sadie's website at
www.epedominion.net/sensuoussadie
A few caveats: One, this essay is meant only to highlight the issues
involved. RT Gor is a complex matter and no single essay can adequately
explain all of its facets. Two, numerous generalizations will be used to
better highlight the basics. Obviously there may be exceptions to these
generalizations. These generalizations are not meant to say that all RT
Goreans do or think something. Three, this essay is not an indictment of
anyone. It is simply one man's perspective who is trying to explain some
basics of this topic.
Different people also have different names or descriptions for this
term: Gorean lifestyler, follower of the Gorean ethos or philosophy, or
even simply Gorean. By whatever name it is known, it essentially refers
to the same matter: a person who chooses to live their life using items
from the Gorean novels. For simplicity's sake, I shall refer to these
people collectively as RTers.
What must be accepted to be a RTer? Is there a checklist of such
matters? Is it enough to embrace the philosophies or must you also
accept their societal institutions? If you adapt Gorean ways for Earth,
modifying those Gorean matters, are they still Gorean? Is there
scientific evidence to support the beliefs espoused in the novels? So
many questions and so many different answers.
When it comes to defining what RT Gor entails, each person has their own
definition. Their opinion that they are a RTer is generally sufficient
for them. Small groups do exist that share similar definitions but even
they disagree on certain issues. There is no single consensus among the
RT community as to what makes one "Gorean." There is a wide diversity in
their beliefs and definitions. The Gorean novels are akin to the Bible
in that different people and groups see the same books quite
differently.
No matter what their definition, RTers usually modify Gorean ways to use
on Earth. A more accurate term might be "Hybrid Gorean," a cross between
Gorean and Earth ways. Their lifestyle is a part of both worlds, and not
solely of either. RTers are free to define themselves as they wish. They
may consider themselves simply "Goreans" if they desire. It is only a
matter of semantics. Hybrid Gorean is simply a more descriptive term for
what is actually done. It is not meant to be a derogatory term.
No one uses everything from the books. First, some things from the books
simply do not exist on Earth. The books are science fiction and deal
with some fantastic matters. RTers understand that Gor is not real. They
understand that tarns, tharlarions and Priest-Kings do not exist.
Second, other matters that are legal on Gor are illegal on Earth. For
example, nonconsensual slavery is legal on Gor but generally illegal in
most places on Earth. Killing an errant slave on Gor is legal but would
land you in prison on Earth. Generally, RTers are willing to follow
Earth laws and thus support matters such as consensual slavery.
The books were written originally as entertainment. They were not
created to be a guide to a lifestyle. Thus, the books do not offer a
complete picture of Gorean society. There are missing or incomplete
areas. For example, the Caste Codes are never completely defined for any
Caste. The most is written about the Warrior Caste Codes but even they
are still incomplete. New books may also add matters to Gor that could
change some previously held ideas. For instance, Magicians of Gor, the
last published book, touched on matters that were not clear or did not
exist in earlier books.
The books were also not intended to be a guide to role-playing Gor. Yet,
both RP and RT exist. Both have taken the books into unintended areas.
But both are equally valid extensions of the novels. RP is simply a form
of entertainment, a game to place you within the action of the novels.
Proper RP harms no one. Proper RP acknowledges that it is only a game.
But if that is so, why are there RTers who vehemently oppose RP? The
basic argument against RP is that it harms the reputation of the RTers.
It also confuses people who might consider adopting a RT lifestyle.
Examples are also cited of people who pretended to be RTers to
manipulate others.
These arguments first presuppose that RT has more validity or primacy
than RP. I see no validity to this belief. Both RT and RP are unintended
extensions of a series of science fiction novels. Just because some
choose to make it a lifestyle does not automatically grant it a
prioritized status. To stop RP would be a path of censorship with
potential far reaching ramifications. How far should one go in
eliminating matters that offend people because it deals with their
lifestyle? Since some feminists are opposed to the novels because it is
opposed to their lifestyle should the books be censored? Should not
freedom of expression prevail? Should not tolerance be the order of
business?
SOME GOREAN LIFESTYLE REFERENCES
http://www.silkandsteel.com/
http://www.geocities.com/sammrnc/Sanctuary_of_Voltai.html
http://gornews.thenewmatrix.net/
http://anzwers.net/hot/gorean/home.html
http://www.goreanwhispers.com/
http://slaveheart.0catch.com/welcome.html
http://www.bdsmrealm.net/article.php?sid=33
http://www.goreansonline.com/cos/slave.html
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/8365/tuchindex.html
================(())==================
He's the One
~Anonymous
She wonders if he looks for her in the morning? Does she dance thru his
dreams whispering to him of wicked passions and angelic delights? And
does his mind claim her image as it's first of each waking day?
She wonders if he is the one who will take her hand in his and lead her
down the prickly path of her destiny? Is he the one who knows her better
than she knows herself, the one that will claim his right to possess
her, jealously guarding her as his greatest treasure?
Is he the one for whom she was created ? For whom she was carried thru
the years of her life, in a chaotic destiny that has hurled them both to
this place in the universe to find each other ?
Is he the Lord of her submissiveness, the Master for which her cravings
were meant to pleasure? Is it he that will take her, claiming his
rightful place to own her, all of her....body, soul, mind, passion and
spirit? Is it he that will be her protector, her teacher, her lover, her
master, the one she will serve and give the gift of her submissiveness?
Is it he who will lead her down and down to the bottom of her soul where
together they will touch and share the rapture of her pain? Is it he
that will bring her back again from the nether regions and transport her
to the outer boundaries of the universe cradled in his love, desire and
domination?
Is it he that was meant for her devotion, the deity upon the alter of
her servitude? Will he take her into his embrace and hold her there,
against the roar and din of the outer world?
Will he always be her light, showing the way to her fulfillment and
freedom thru her enslavement to him and thru the trial of his love for
her? Is he the one who will hold her cupped in his hand, and close to
his heart?
================(())==================
BDSM WEBSITE OF THE WEEK - RECOMMENDED BY OUR READERS
Kink-Friendly Website Design & Hosting
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================(())==================
ADMINISTRIVIA
ABOUT SADIE AND THE MISSION OF THIS NEWSLETTER
I'm Sensuous Sadie, editor and all around diva of this publication. I am
a BDSM columnist, as well as founder and leader (1999-2001) of Rose &
Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group. I have begun to include more articles
and interviews that touch on the subject of spirituality and BDSM. I
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