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My major turn on, the thing that I 'get' out of BDSM,
is that when I scene I facilitate a REAL act of creation. When I scene,
when I help the subbie to become 'actualized to her sexuality' that I
create. I make the sun come up, and choose the color of the sky. I feed
off of the energy that flows between my partner and I.
~ Master Will
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SCENEsubmissions
March 14, 2004
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Don't Break The Spirit; Slave Training in an Animistic Pagan World –
By Raven Caldera
Just Wait Till Your Father Gets Home; Telling Your Family - By Norische
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Don't Break The Spirit; Slave Training in an Animistic Pagan World
By Raven Kaldera
cauldronfarm@hotmail.com
http://www.cauldronfarm.com/baphomet
Read the SCENEprofiles Interview with Raven at:
http://sensuoussadie.com/interviews/ravenkalderainterview.htm
Raven Kaldera is a well known author, shaman, FTM transgendered
intersexual activist, and minister. Kaldera's books include The Urban
Primitive: Paganism in the Concrete Jungle; Handfasting and Wedding
Ritual: Inviting Hera's Blessing, MythAstrology; Lies And Scars;
Darkness Bound: Beyond Bondage and Discipline, and Hermaphrodeities: The
Transgender Spirituality Workbook, as well as countless short works of
erotica, religion, and sometimes the two combined. 'Tis an ill wind that
blows no minds.
Disclaimer: In this article, it is taken as obvious that the
"slave" in question has agreed to this relationship of their own free
will, and that it makes them happy and fulfilled to be owned. This is
not about kidnapping and coercion, it's about D/s, OK? I figured
everyone ought to know that, but my wife suggested that I put in this
disclaimer for those people who just don't get it.
I've read a lot of articles on how full-time slaves ought to be trained,
and they all make me vaguely uncomfortable. While it's true that every
slave is different, and every master has different needs, I had problems
with the overly-detailed procedures designed to rob a slave - someone
who you, hopefully anyway, chose because you liked them as a person -
and take away everything that they are, clearing them like a blank slate
to be written across. Somehow this seemed wrong to me, and not just
ethically wrong but full of wasted effort, like burning down a house
rather than renovating it.
After a while, I realized what the root problem was. These trainers were
working out of the mechanistic worldview that has bedeviled our culture
for the past two centuries. In this worldview, of which B.F. Skinner's
theories were one extreme example, everything is a machine. Every part
of the universe, including the human psyche, is a collection of bits and
parts that can be disassembled and reassembled if one only has the
Chilton's manual and the right tools. Nothing has a soul, because there
are no such things. We are all just machines to be "fixed" and
"rebuilt", and when it comes to slave training, it's machining on a
grand scale.
This kind of mechanistic worldview is also evident in military basic
training and certain forms of cult brainwashing. It's the idea that a
human being is a computer to be programmed, and all you need are the
right codes.....but first you have to reduce them to a brainless,
soulless thing. It's rather like the way that they are trying to design
robots in the MIT robotics lab (a fascinating place, to be sure). First
you build a dumb robot, then a slightly smarter one, and then a still
smarter one. Each one has more lines of code, more rules to program in.
In order to program a human being this way, you first have to reduce
them to a dumb robot and start from there.
Except that I'm not convinced that this is best way to go about building
a robot, much less changing the behavior of a human being. I recently
watched a show on robotics and saw a rogue tech who was working on the
concept of neural networks rather than programming every function; he'd
made some simple insectoid bots who didn't do much except crawl about,
but they were able to learn simple things on their own and adjust their
own behavior accordingly. He played with them and called them by name,
and was affectionate with them, because their "life- mimicking" behavior
inspired his human nature to do so. To me, he was in the process of
giving them souls.
Then it clicked for me. To me, the sort of paganism that I practice is
strongly bound up with animism - the idea that inanimate objects can
have souls, can have a spirit and a character of their own. In the
mechanistic worldview, everything is a little less than fully alive. In
my worldview - compared to the "ordinary" one - everything has, as my
boy Joshua has pointed out, "an extra level of being alive". Certainly I
don't feel spirit in everything I touch - some things are just inert -
but I do sense it in a lot more things than the average person will ever
admit. It's most obvious in objects from the natural world, such as
water, or fire, or rocks. Rocks definitely have spirit, although it's
long and slow and for them to speak a single sentence takes a century,
so it's hard for us to communicate with them. But big rocks have a
strong spirit, and mountains (the biggest rocks of all) even more so.
The land beneath my feet, of course, most definitely has a spirit. I
talk frequently to my land-wight, and I've made some rather heavy deals
with it - it runs the wards on my land in return for attention and
certain services. But it's a little different with man-made things. Most
machined things don't have much of a spirit. Items lovingly made by hand
are more likely to, because the maker dropped energy and soul into them.
But the most soul-full things of all are valued, loved, much-used tools.
My guitar has a spirit, one that is mellow and cooperative and very
feminine - I named her Madrigal, and she loves me. I can tell every time
I play her. My knives have spirits. My car has a spirit. My big
old-fashioned Victorian wood cookstove, Esmeralda, already had a spirit
when we bought her and moved her into the kitchen.
My wife summed it up in talking about her .22 rifle. It was basically
"empty" when she brought it home, but she pointed out that it developed
a spirit over a period of time through regular use, respect, a feeling
of being valued, and most of all, special rituals for its care that one
did over and over again. In the case of her rifle, it was cleaning it,
carefully trigger-locking it and putting it away, and having the proper
signs and sigils (the FID and the registration paperwork) ready to hand.
This way of working with valued tools is what I think a pagan master
ought to base "slave training" on. After all, as a pagan animist I
*expect* my most valuable and useful property to have spirit. Why would
I want less from my human property, which would arguably be the most
valuable treasure of all? Instead of trying to reduce them to a drone
and then programming them from the ground up, wouldn't it be more
appropriate to use the kind of techniques that an animist uses to create
spirit in and bond with their precious tools?
This was driven home by a comparison I made mentally with a line from
the Oath of Service that I wrote, where the master refers to the servant
as being an "extension of his hands". This was echoed in one of the
"slave training" articles, but in a very different way. For the author
of this article, to be an extension of the master's hands was to be a
mindless robot who would obey strict orders very literally, and never
try to anticipate anything or use critical thinking skills. I was taken
aback, as I saw the line in my Oath very differently. To use a modern
example, if I had a couple of extra hands hanging off me, and I cut them
loose to go places and do things that I couldn't, I wouldn't be thinking
of them as programmed robotic hands. I'd be thinking of them as becoming
rather like Thing, the disembodied-hand servant of the Addams Family,
who definitely has a mind and a spirit (and a gender) of his own. He is
utterly devoted to the Addamses, and especially Gomez, but he can do all
sorts of intelligent things in order to make life better for them. He
has character. He has Soul.
I was reminded of my (now decommissioned) 1972 Dodge van, named Lurch
for his personality - large, strong, and devoted in a grouchy way. A car
once cut us off in dangerous traffic, and we would have had a fatal
collision except that the steering wheel wrenched itself out of my
wife's hands, and the van made a neat and perfect switch to the next
lane between two other cars. We were both stunned. We also took Lurch
straight to the mechanic's and gave him an oil change in gratitude.
That's the kind of servant I want to have around - human or nonhuman.
So if the paradigm of slave training for the mechanistic world is
programming a computer, then what's the paradigm for the animistic
world? Why, magic, of course. It would be a matter of using the same
magical techniques on your slave that you would use to bond with a
valuable tool and make it into a devoted and soul-full servant. To do
this, there are several points to remember.
The first point is that you can't choose the kind of spirit that is
going to come into your tool. You don't place the soul into it so much
as *call* the soul into it, and maintain that soul with bits of your own
energy. Object spirits come in many different forms. Madrigal is sweet
and a little wistful; Esmeralda is cheerful and warm and a little stuffy
and old-fashioned. I had a knife with a spirit so nasty that people were
constantly cutting themselves on it. Could I change its nature? No. I
had to put a binding spell on it, and feed it a little of my own blood
regularly. (It eventually disappeared...probably off to newer hunting
grounds.) You have to work with the character of the individual tool's
spirit, and this goes for human slaves especially. Changing the person's
basic nature is not only wrong but an exercise in futility. All you can
succeed in doing is implanting behavior so alien to their natures that
the dissonance will cause them to slowly suffocate.
Sometimes it may be important to implant a little alien behavior or
energy - one example of where this might be useful in the non-D/s world
is a Reiki attunement, where the Reiki master "scoops out" a bit of your
energy and replaces it with something to aid you in doing Reiki.
However, this is something to be used very sparingly, and it must never
be extensive enough that it blocks the slave's own personality from
coming out.
The second point is that the training must be a 50/50 partnership all
the way. This is not something that the dominant inflicts upon the
helpless submissive. The two parties *must be in collusion* with regard
to the goals of the training. I am made profoundly uncomfortable with
the idea that a dominant can do Jedi mind tricks on a submissive and not
tell them about it. Aside from the fact that it's really sleazy ethics,
the dominant may miss valuable feedback from the slave that would make
the exercise more effective, or on the other extreme, keep it from being
mentally harmful.
I try to keep all my Jedi mind tricks open and aboveboard. If there's a
behavior that I want changed or implanted, first I tell my slave about
it. Then I give reasons for my desires, and I try to make them good
ones, as this is not something that should be done on a whim. Then I
explain how we are going to go about changing this part of him, and why
I think that this method will work effectively. This is especially
important with a slave who is past the point of consent; i.e. has
consensually given up the ability to consent. If I have taken that away
from him, then I at least owe him the clear knowledge of what is being
done to him.
Then it's up to the slave to actively collude with me on the project.
This might mean that we would brainstorm the most effective context and
tools together, or that he would work with me on getting into a slightly
(or not so slightly) altered state where he would be more open to
suggestion. It might also mean that she might voice objections based on
our agreed-upon ethical code, or that she might point out information I
had missed. Even a dominant with excellent judgment can screw up based
on insufficient information. If you work a spell with incorrect
information about the situation, it often simply doesn't work, or it
might manifest in a way that you didn't expect and don't particularly
like. This is no different.
The tools that we use are the same ones that are used in magic energy
work with objects. They include, but are not limited to:
1) Words Of Power. In spellwork, we might speak a particular word or
phrase that embodies the idea we want to put across to the nonverbal
part of our brain, which is the part that handles all magic work,
connects with the Universe, and most drastically affects behavior. If a
word, it is usually a connotatively "loaded" word; if a phrase, it is
short, pithy, succinct, and perhaps rhythmic or poetic. It is spoken in
a tone of voice that conveys power and certainty. I use the same
"command voice" to utter a spell that I use to tell my slave that from
now on, he will do X, and that's the way it's going to be. I think as
carefully about my phrasing in these delicate proceedings as I do when
doing a magic working where I ask the Universe to send me something.
Words count drastically in these situations. There shouldn't be too many
of them, and they should all be loaded with visual and "feeling"
content, and be memorable.....because your slave is going to commit them
to heart, at least subconsciously.
2) Touch. This is the medium by which we usually pass energy into our
tools, especially ritual tools. In some traditions, one marks the ritual
tools with one's own bodily fluids, such as blood, sweat, saliva, urine,
or sexual fluids. As you smear them on, you impress the intent into the
tool through the fluid medium, which holds a great deal of your energy.
For some spells, you write your intent in letters, or perhaps use runes,
or symbols. Adapting this for the body of a submissive is obvious,
especially if you remember that skin is absorbent.
Just touching the tool, not once but repeatedly (and in the same
ritualized manner) over a long period of time is probably the most
common method of invoking soul into it. We often have the urge to stroke
and touch our ensouled property; it's a way of maintaining it's energy
and bond with us. A blind former lover pointed out to me that when
people say, "Let me see that," they hold out their hand to take it,
because you can't fully see something with only your eyes. You can "see"
many things with your sense of touch that may elude your eyes.
Regular touch is good for building intimacy anyway, but for purposes of
magically inducing changes of behavior, body contact and gentle stroking
is extremely useful. It's what you'd do to an object that you were
"charging", and you can "charge" the submissive in the same way,
releasing a little of your own will into them as a way to "set" a
command. When I thought hard about the sort of touch that I use,
especially during those verbal commands that are meant to change
significant behavior, I realized that I tended to touch my slave in two
different places depending on the command. For commands that required a
great deal of trust, I would lay my hand over his heart chakra; on some
level I wanted him to "take this to heart". For commands that were to
slip under the conscious mind and become mental conditioning, I'd put my
hand on the back of his neck and head, where the brain stem is. (It's
important to tell your slave that you're attempting to send a command in
under her conscious "radar"; if your bond is good enough, it will go in
regardless of her skeptical "Yeah, sure," and she'll find herself
following it anyway, to her surprise. If you neglect to let her know
what you're doing, she will have no clear basis for her sudden change of
behavior, and it may be upsetting to her. Making her doubt her sanity is
not a useful outcome.)
3) Rituals. This could be seen as the sort of thing that comes under the
name of "protocol", except that it feels a little different when it's
structured as ritual. The non-spiritual meaning of "ritual" is something
that is done deliberately the same way every time. This certainly
resembles "traditional D/s protocol", if you will; rules are agreed upon
that boundary many aspects of the slave's life (and that vary widely
from mistress to master to mistress, I might point out), and the slave
repeats them day in and day out. There's a lot about BDSM play that is
similar in tone to a pagan ritual, in that it is theatrical and uses
lots of props. The difference between "traditional" D/s ritual and the
adaptation of pagan ritual to train a slave is that a skilled
witch/magician/energy worker will be a lot more cognizant of what they
are raising, and where to put it. If the couple practices painplay, this
can be used to raise energy which can then be funneled into the slave,
along with a command. Another approach might be for the submissive to
strive to see the everyday work of their path as a sacred ritual in and
of itself, much like a Shinto priest carefully and elegantly rakes
spirals into his garden, or like a tea ceremony, or a sacred dance. A
slave's path, when done in a mindful and not a mindless manner, can give
a great deal of psychological and spiritual satisfaction in proper and
graceful service. Unfortunately, training by the book of the mechanistic
worldview tends to create mindlessness instead of mindfulness. A
soul-oriented approach would seek primarily for parts of the service
path that are nourishing to the spirit, and would use these as the basis
of the training. It's a great deal more than simply making the slave
want it. It's showing them how to learn to need it as part of their
spiritual path.
I'd like to say that, for the record, although this may work most
intensely when the individuals involved are in love with each other
(those love drugs add a level of passion and vehemence to the energy),
it can work quite well where "being in love" is not present. It does,
however, require at least mutual respect, liking, and affection. If you
didn't like a tool, or didn't think much of it, you wouldn't use it very
often, and you'd get a better one as quickly as you could. When you did
use it, you wouldn't be filling it with anything very nice. If a master
doesn't at least have warm feelings for their slave, then for gods' sake
send them somewhere they'll be more appreciated.
There's one other point to make that is uniquely pagan in worldview.
Each spirit that gets called into a man-made object is a tiny
reflection, a snapshot, a splinter, an avatar of a much greater spirit.
For example, my guitar's spirit is a tiny reflection of the much greater
Spirit Of Music. The spirit in my wife's .22 is an avatar of a much
greater Warrior's Weapon Spirit. In invoking these spirits into the
items, we make them sacred in some sense. Through them, we can contact
the greater spirit that they are linked to. When someone takes on the
archetype of the Owned Slave, they allow into themselves a piece of the
greater spirit that is All That Is Sacrificed That We May Live. This
Spirit has many faces and names - the Sacred King, John Barleycorn,
Iphigenia, Persephone, the Sacrificed Maiden, the Prey Animal, the Bull
God and Goat God, Lugh, Baldur, the Corn Dollie, the Wicker Man, and so
forth. It appears in every ancient culture, because our ancestors deeply
revered the life that gave itself for our survival.
To become an owned slave is to become an object, to some extent, but a
cult object, a sacred thing, a living altar piece. Through them we touch
the life of that particular divine force, the one that is present in
every sheaf of wheat at the moment it is cut down, and every steer at
them moment that it is butchered, and every deer at the moment that it
gives itself to the wolf pack. Their presence invokes into us dominants
the archetypal spirit of the Gods who accept the sacrifice, who are
usually the implacable deities of Death. Through them, we become divine.
However, we are also human. The proper response of a human being to John
Barleycorn the Sacrificed God is gratitude. We as tops need to balance
those two spirits within us, and remember when to be the Gods of Death
and when to just be quietly, humanly grateful for our good fortune in
having this tender soul to serve us. Conversely, the slave is also a
human being, and the proper response of a human being to the Gods of
Death is a respectful distance, whereas John Barleycorn hurtles
willingly and with abandon into the dark embrace of the Death Goddess,
with all the self-destructive urges of a bridegroom fly going to the bed
of his spider bride. The submissive's task is to balance the urge to
immolate themselves and their individuality upon the altar of our
desire, and to keep enough of them respectfully distant from the cutting
edge of our darkness that they will still retain the ability to do that
active colluding. To do this is to base D/s protocol on the protocols of
pagan worship, and as such it keeps a mutual respect in place between
partners.
This kind of work is long and slow and takes a lot of patience. It's not
good for people who want instant gratification. You're slowly shaping
what's already there, not tearing down and starting from nothing. It's
less radical treatment, but it gets the same results without the same
levels of confusion and trauma, and most of all, it's more permanent.
The kinds of changes made in mechanistic world-view slave training force
the individual's spirit down into a box, where it sits until it is
released. It may never be released, but it's still there, waiting, and
getting more and more cramped. Eventually, if the slave is let loose, it
will reassert itself. Using magical and animistic ritual means that you
are changing the spirit itself. What's done is done, and it's much
harder to undo. This can be good or bad, depending on the situation.
However, by tying slave training into a spiritual path, if something
goes wrong and the slave is abandoned by his/her owner or is forced to
leave, they can always fall back on the Gods, at least temporarily, for
comfort, consolation, and the promise of a more appropriate venue in
which to follow their path.
(c) Raven Kaldera 2003
This article is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the
author. If you would like to share it with others, please link directly
to this page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of
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permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than
20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\\//\\//\\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just Wait Till Your Father Gets Home: Telling Your Family
By Norische
norisch1@mchsi.com
"So what are you, some kind of Satanist, or what?" This was one of the
first things my sister said when she walked into my house.
It had been almost a year since I had seen my sister, she doesn't live
that far away but she has always been a little on the judgmental side
and so she and I have never truly been that close. She stopped by my
house not long ago, no phone call, no warning, she just popped in for a
visit…thankfully she didn't have her two young sons with her. I am very
open about my choices and my lifestyle, however I have never breached
the subject with either of my sisters.
When you walk into my parlor/office the first thing you see is a wall of
"toys". Floggers, whips, paddles, and canes of all types, along with a
large grouping of miscellaneous torture devices and implements of all
types which decorate one half of the room. Of course chains, suspension
devices, harnesses, and stirrups also embellish the archway to my
dinning room. A leather-covered horse sitting right smack dab in the
middle of the office also seems rather conspicuous as you walk into the
room.
Normally I am very proud of my lifestyle choices and have no problem
talking to anyone about the interesting and useful items that decorate
my home. However, when my sister walked into my house I was literally at
a loss for words.
To help you understand a little better, let me describe my sister a
little to you. My sister and I are 16 months apart in age, I am the
youngest. She is married and has been for several years; she was 24 yrs
old before she went out on her first date. The first man she ever kissed
is also the only man she has ever kissed, her husband. She lived with my
parents until she moved in with her husband and his parents. She now has
two young sons, ages 9 and 5. The have a nice little house in a nice
little neighborhood and she is the picture of the perfect wife and
strict mother. She is very active in her church and is a model of the
average clean cut, straight-laced woman in her community.
When my sister first walked into my home I thought about how she would
react, and then I worried if she would be offended and finally I
wondered if she would even understand my lifestyle and the items in my
home. Well to make it simple not only did she not understand the things
that she saw but she also was completely clueless about what the BDSM
lifestyle is truly about. At first she blushed and avoided looking at
the floggers and whips, I could tell that she was very uncomfortable. I
began to talk to her as I do with anyone; hoping that my openness would
show her that there is nothing wrong or "sick" about the way I live my
life. I also tried to help her understand the difference between the
facts and myths about BDSM.
Myth:
All BDSM involves pain, or inflicting pain.
Fact:
There are several different types of Domination, some do indeed involve
pain but others do not, it is a matter of choice in a relationship as to
the addition or degree of pain included.
Myth:
BDSM is nothing more than kinky sex play.
Fact:
Sex may or may not be involved in a BDSM relationship; again it is a
choice between those involved.
Myth:
BDSM is against God, or somehow Satanic in nature.
Fact:
There are several religions that use pain as a means of showing
devotion, for centuries priest have beat themselves with sticks, whips
and canes to show their sincerity to God. In many churches pleasure is
viewed as the pathway to Hell, hence it has been summarized that pain
must be the pathway to Heaven. From the Sun Dance of the Native
Americans to the Flagellants of the Philippines pain has been viewed as
a means of getting closer to God, not as a sin.
Myth:
BDSM is abuse.
Fact:
It is understood within the BDSM lifestyle that all activities must be
consensual, even slavery. Before an individual can be a slave they must
agree to the requirements, rules, and behaviors that are expected,
before he or she is accepted as a slave. Once an arrangement is made,
they seemingly loose the ability to say no, but this is untrue.
Depending on the negotiations and the original contract the slave may be
given certain rights or may wave those rights…but the fact is that the
choice is theirs to accept the arrangements or to refuse. Safe, Sane and
CONSENTUAL.
Myth:
BDSM is not normal.
Fact:
"Normal" is defined in many ways. Most people define normal as what is
considered socially acceptable by the majority of the populous. If this
is an accurate description then no one can be considered normal. Are
Jews normal or are Christians normal? Are heterosexuals normal or are
homosexuals normal? Are Native Americans the normal ones or is it the
African Americans that are normal? Is it normal to be rich or poor? Is
it normal to be married or divorced or single? Are you normal if you
have a college degree or if you don't have a high school diploma?
Personally being "normal" is way over rated…I prefer to be unique, an
individual.
After I spent my afternoon explaining my lifestyle to my sister, she
began to understand a little about my life. However even with all the
information I gave her, the last thing she stated to me was "Well if
this is what you want then, I guess it is ok. I just want to let you
know that I will not be bringing my kids over again." With that she left
and since then our communication has been limited to polite
conversation. She hasn't brought up our conversation again nor has she
come back to visit.
I have never truly feared speaking to my family about my lifestyle nor
have I ever avoided the subject or lied about my life…however, I have
always known the reaction that I would encounter.
From my daughter I have had open acceptance, she was raised to accept
all those that make the universe unique and wonderful. As she grew up
she was slowly, and I stress the word slowly, exposed to alternative
lifestyles. When she was 19 yrs old I felt she could understand enough
about my lifestyle choices that I decided to get a slave. At first she
didn't know how to handle it, after they talked for a while she
understood better and they became friends, and remained so even after
his release. When we moved from Arkansas to Missouri I waited a couple
of years and then got a submissive male as well as a male slave; my
daughter began to understand the difference between the two. She
honestly had no patience for the submissive but loved having my slave
around. I never exposed my daughter to the S & M side of things but she
was not ignorant either. It didn't honestly shock me much when I found
out she had bought a pony whip, the only thing that I wanted to know was
she giving or receiving…I never asked, some things a mother just doesn't
need to know.
From my mother I had a confused understanding, she accepted the need for
control and obedience but she could not understand the involvement of
pain. My mother was a traditional Native American, our tribe is
matriarchal…the women are in charge. I was raised by a strong woman,
amongst strong women, and therefore the desire for control comes quite
natural. She may have only been 4 foot 11 inches tall but it always
seemed the whole world trembled at her command.
From my father I have been shunned, after my mother's death my father
remarried and the individual he married is a racist and a bigot. Since
then his wife has seen to it that we no longer speak, nor am I allowed
to go to my mother's home.
From one sister I have been given a polite acknowledgement, simply put
she is ok with my choices as long as they do not affect her or her
family. Being Christian does not necessarily make one close-minded but
it definitely narrows the realm of acceptance. Even though my sister
goes to a more progressive church, she is still limited as to her
interpretation of acceptable behaviors, and lifestyles.
From my other sister, perhaps some day I shall breach the subject, but
not yet.
Do not fear what your family with think, or say, or even do. The only
thing you should fear is ignorance. If someone does not accept your
lifestyle that is ok, they have the right to their own opinions. If
someone avoids associating with you because of choices that you have
made, this too is a choice, it is their choice.
A slave I had in the past was faced with a horrible dilemma, lie to his
family or admit his lifestyle choices and face the consequences. He
refused to lie and when asked he explained his role in my house to his
family. They threatened to have him committed, to take away his car
(which they had paid for), to pull his college scholarship (which they
had set up when he was a small child) and disown him. Rather than shame
his family he asked to be released, I have not seen him since.
Pretending to be someone you are not is almost as difficult as trying to
hide who you really are. Be proud of yourself, your choices, and your
way of life. You do not need anyone's approval, acceptance or
understanding…it is a welcome gift that your family and friends can give
to you but it is not necessary nor should it be expected.
~~~
Copyright 2003
This article is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the
author. If you would like to share it with others, please link directly
to this page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of
copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece without that
permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than
20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\\//\\//\\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\\//\\//\\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADMINISTRIVIA
ABOUT SADIE AND THE MISSION OF THIS NEWSLETTER
I'm Sensuous Sadie, editor and all around diva of this publication. I'm
the author of : It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in
the BDSM Scene
http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html as well as
founder and leader (1999-2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM
group. SCENEsubmissions is a venue for information on BDSM and
spirituality, exploring BDSM not as a conduit for toys and protocol, but
as an erotica mystica. You can also find more information about these
topics on my website in the BDSM & Spirituality section.
You can reach me at SensuousSadie@aol.com
or visit my website (and see a hot photo of me) at
www.sensuoussadie.com
BDSM WRITERS GROUP
Writers – please join this group for BDSM Writers of fiction,
non-fiction, and poetry. Our goal is to share input and feedback on
ongoing writing projects. You do not need to be published, but we want
people who will be engaged in offering and accepting feedback. To join,
just send an e-mail to:
BDSMwriters-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
QUICHER BITCHIN' - SEND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
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www.sensuoussadie.com/newsletter.htm
RUN THIS NEWSLETTER ON YOUR WEBSITE OR DISCUSSION GROUP
If you would like to reprint this newsletter on a weekly basis, please
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PUBLISHING POLICY
This newsletter follows standard copyrighting practice regarding all
articles and poetry which are reprinted with explicit permission of the
authors. "Fair use" guidelines are followed regarding quotes. The Fair
Use doctrine of the U.S. copyright statute states it is permissible to
use limited portions of a work including quotes, for purposes such as
commentary, criticism, news reporting, and scholarly reports and that
"In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is
a fair use the factors to be considered shall include... the amount and
substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work
as a whole." This is normally interpreted in legal cases to include 20%
or less of a complete work.
Easy to read information on copyright:
10 Big Myths about copyright explained: An attempt to answer common
myths about copyright seen on the net and cover issues related to
copyright and USENET/Internet publication.
By Brad Templeton
http://www.templetons.com/brad/copymyths.html
Copyright 2004 Sadie Sez Publications
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