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Sam no longer screams to relieve the pain: he has
crossed that barrier that separates fantasy and reality. Each stroke of
the whip no longer sears but burst into waves of ecstasy to which he can
only abandon himself. And as his body rolls outward into those wonderful
vaulted heavens, his body moves to receive and caress each stroke as it
comes down. 'Oh please Sir,' he whimpers. 'Oh thank you Sir.' Once
again, God is speaking with Sam.
~ Geoff Mains in Urban Aboriginals, recently re-released
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SCENEsubmissions
July 4, 2004
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Arousal and the Doors of Perception - by Sensuous Sadie
Take a Dip In The Reality Pool - by Screamer
Icarus - Poem by Liam
Websites of the Week
ADMINISTRIVIA
About Sadie and the Mission of this Newsletter
How to Subscribe to this Free Newsletter
Publishing Policy
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This Summer Reading Series
This is part a series of columns called "My Travels with Griffin."
It's the story of my relationship with Griffin, with a focus on our
mutual exploration of BDSM and spirituality. Since the series is about
fifteen columns long, I thought it would be easier to follow the story
if I ran them every week in a row. Griffin approved publication of every
single column. Please keep in mind that this story started in December
of 2002. These columns can also be found in my "Art of BDSM" columns
section on my website at http://sensuoussadie.com/columnlist.htm . You
can also read the interview with Griffin at
http://sensuoussadie.com/interviews/griffininterview.htm
Arousal and the Doors of Perception
[August, 2003]
By Sensuous Sadie
SensuousSadie@aol.com
www.sensuoussadie.com
So I love chastity now, because it is the peace that comes of
fucking. I love being chaste now. I love it as snowdrops love the snow.
I love this chastity, which is the pause of peace of our fucking,
between us now like a snowdrop of forked white fire. And when the real
spring comes, when the drawing together comes, then we can fuck the
little flame brilliant and yellow, brilliant. But not now, not yet! Now
is the time to be chaste, it is so good to be chaste, like a river of
cool water in my soul.
~ D.H. Lawrence
I just returned from the bathroom at my job were I nearly had an orgasm,
but stopped short. I sat on the toilet in that fluorescent lit room,
staring at the cream colored cubicle walls. Yet my mind was closed off,
floating as my fingers teased my clitoris into hardness, hoping against
hope that no one would walk in and hear my breath, hot and fast. When
I'd finished, but not yet come, I stood, my legs trembling, and dressed
again for my workday. My pantyhose were damp with juices, and I would
smell my own arousal all day.
It was only yesterday that Griffin put me on this regime, to arouse
myself four times a day until this weekend. Four days of agony, and when
he arrives I will be raw with need. I am aroused all the time now, even
when working. I imagine this weekend, when finally I can be close to
him. I want to weep with desire, beg him for just a few strokes. I know
he is aware of my pain, and will silence my quiet desperation. This will
be a test for me, to go to him not full of my own need to be touched,
but full instead of a desire to serve him– whether or not that includes
even a moment of his hand upon me.
We started this particular training because, despite appearances, my sex
drive is lower than his. I can go for weeks without orgasm and hardly
break stride. The first time Griffin lead me through the exercise, I
wasn't sure if he would really follow through and refuse me release. In
the past his gentle nature pretty much assured I'd be satisfied. But
Griffin is no longer that casual Dominant I played with for months. Now
he is dead serious and I must match his intention. I begged him not to
tease me, and he became angry at my resistance. He wants me to focus on
the pleasure, and yet I have yet to learn to enjoy the process without
insisting on a certain ending.
The more pleasure I enjoy, the more painful it is to feel the withdrawal
just before orgasm. I try to turn myself over to it, to let it sear
through me, knowing that I need this more than I need yet another
orgasm. To get through it, I remind myself to enjoy every second of it,
and to feel the pain fully as well. Oh how I struggle. I will sometimes
ice my clitoris because the pain of the ice is a relief from the pain of
arousal unfulfilled. Occasionally, I go through it all again, knowing
that each time I make it successfully to the pain of withdrawal, I am a
tiny bit closer to deserving this collar.
When I am in this state of soulful need, I feel his power over me, rich
and intimate. I want him to see my hungry, vulnerable inner self. I want
to kneel at his feet and turn myself over to him, to feel his acceptance
of all of me, even the selfish part that just wants pleasure for its own
sake.
Out of this exercise which I started simply to follow his directive, I
found myself reaching a whole new spiritual level, one that completely
surprised me. The truth is that I have struggled with many of his orders
because I acted on them in my normal rational mind, and so they had
little meaning for me. I wear the chastity belt as he instructs, but
often even forget it's on while I'm writing or working. In contrast when
I practice this orgasm control, I am immediately catapulted into
subspace and function on a purely emotional and spiritual level. My
rational self is elsewhere, the doors of perception open to me. Primal
passions wash through my heart like an ocean wave. Things I never
thought I'd even consider or wish for, things that scare me but are
undoubtedly the right path.
I want to be still and quiet, a Taoist walking mindfully, accepting
whatever comes, whatever he gives me with equanimity. I want to live in
this, my spiritual mind, at all times. Now that I know this place
exists, I will never return to the easy casualness of submitting to his
orders like they are another thing on the list. Now I will feel them as
they truly are, tools to take me to the other side.
~~~
Sensuous Sadie is the author of It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and
Spirituality in the BDSM Scene (
http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html ). She is the founder and
leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group.
Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting
can be addressed to her at
SensuousSadie@aol.com or visit her website at
www.sensuoussadie.com . Sadie
believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely
is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most
venues.
Copyright August 2003 Sadie Sez Publications
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Take a Dip In The Reality Pool
By Screamer
screamer_girl@hotmail.com
http://www.thescreamergirl.com
Screamer writes erotica under the pen name Kanthra Adair. Her new book
Screaming Inside is available for $12.50 from Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1893006387/thescreamergi-20/104-5857078-5020762
Read the SCENEprofiles Interview with Screamer at: http://sensuoussadie.com/interviews/screamerinterview.htm
For those of us who came of age in BDSM in the computer age, there seems
to be some discrepancy between the realities and the fantasies of this
lifestyle.
I'm your Auntie Screamer, and I'm here to help clear those up for you.
Pay attention. I'm only going to say this once.
1. "You do have rights. You have the right to walk away. If you believe
otherwise, it's time for a dip in the reality pool."
2. "No one can keep up a 24/7 lifestyle for long without a break for
comedy relief, and a swift dose of kids, family, work and car problems."
3. "No man has an erection continuously. Unless they're priaptic, in
which case, a doctor's visit is in order."
4. "There is such a thing as PMS, and no amount of Domming is going to
make it go away."
5. "A chainsaw is not a sex toy."
6. "Your cyber safeword is the off button on the front of your computer.
Use it."
7. "There *is* going to be a time when you don't feel like having sex.
It *does* happen. Prepare yourself mentally for it."
8. "24/7 is not a myth. 24/7 in chains, naked and kneeling is."
9. "There will come a time when you see your Dominant scratching
himself, belching and in need of a shower. Prepare yourself for that as
well."
10. "No one understands your collar but you. Showing it off at Safeway
isn't exactly a statement."
11. "The distance is not insurmountable. It is inconvenient and
irritating, and it will grate on your nerves unless you fill your time
with other things."
12. "Eventually, you're going to have to take those cuffs off to take
the kids to the doctor. Get used to it."
13. "Speaking of doctors, tell yours what you're into, or be prepared to
deal with social services on a regular basis."
14. "You really don't need another flogger. What you need is a new
microwaves and a pair of hundred dollar tennis shoes for your teenager.
Know when to say when to the toy bag."
15. "People get sick. People die. Use a condom, please, unless you've
been tested twice in the last year, and so has your partner."
16. "Don't walk away from your friends. You might well need them later,
when your dream Dominant turns into a frog."
17. "If you want something, ask. Ask respectfully, ask in role, ask in
good faith. But ask. If you don't, chances are, you ain't gonna get it."
18. "Just because you call yourself a slave doesn't mean that others
will agree with your definition. Be prepared to defend your views, but
don't bark at others for their opinions. They have a right to them, same
as you do."
19. "Don't believe everything you read, especially if it comes from John
Norman."
20. "Just because the screen name says Master doesn't mean he is one."
21. "Find a way to orgasm without BDSM. You may need that someday."
22. "Safecalls work. Use them."
23. "There are things you won't do. Trust me. Maybe you just haven't
been asked to do them yet."
24. "This ain't always all about sex. Don't expect to get a nut every
time you play. Then you won't be disappointed when it happens to you.
Orgasms are nice, but not mandatory."
25. "People are not always nice. You will not play at every party you
attend. You will get hurt non-consensually sometimes."
26. "Your Dominant is not a mind reader."
27. "Forever is not as long as you might think. Sometimes, it's just
until she changes her mind again."
28. "The Mistress is not always dressed in thigh highs and hose. The
Dominant does not always have his flogger nearby. Sometimes, it's time
for sweat pants and hot cocoa."
29. "An argument is not the end of the world. Not resolving it, however,
might be."
30. "Sometimes, a fuck is just a fuck. A beating is just a beating. And
a kiss is just a kiss. Enjoy it, remember it, and move along."
I hope you've enjoyed your dip in the reality pool. Wipe your feet
before going back in the house, and don't drip on my new parquet floors.
~~~
Copyright 2004
This article is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the
author. If you would like to share it with others, please link directly
to this page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of
copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece without that
permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than
20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\\//\\//\\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Icarus
By Liam
zeitgeist1776@yahoo.com
Like a moth drawn to your flame,
I fly towards your arms.
The brilliance of your heated eyes,
Blinds me to any harm.
If destruction awaits your fiery embrace,
I would yet rush headlong.
My need for you compels no less,
To deny my fate, quite wrong.
I'll chance the furnace of your desires,
And if I melt within,
Than you were meant to purify,
My steel, from paltry tin.
I'll be no less than yours, complete,
Or be nothing at all.
I'll gladly soar to heights unknown,
No matter how far I fall.
~~~
"I soar, within chains"
~~~
Copyright 2003
This poem is reprinted here with the explicit permission of the author.
If you would like to share it with others, please link directly to this
page or contact the author for permission. It is a violation of
copyright law to distribute or reprint this piece without that
permission, however you may include a short quote from it, not more than
20% of the total text. Please respect the integrity of this work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\\//\\//\\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Website of the Week
Spanking Blog: Spanking Stories & Spanking Links
http://www.spankingblog.com/
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Sadie's own Webpage of the Week
New to BDSM? Information Just for Novices
http://sensuoussadie.com/resources/newtobdsm.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/\\//\\//\\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADMINISTRIVIA
ABOUT SADIE AND THE MISSION OF THIS NEWSLETTER
I'm Sensuous Sadie, editor and all around diva of this publication. I'm
the author of : It's Not About the Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in
the BDSM Scene
http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0551.html as well as
founder and leader (1999-2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM
group. SCENEsubmissions is a venue for information on BDSM and
spirituality, exploring BDSM not as a conduit for toys and protocol, but
as an erotica mystica. You can also find more information about these
topics on my website in the BDSM & Spirituality section.
You can reach me at SensuousSadie@aol.com
or visit my website (and see a hot photo of me) at
www.sensuoussadie.com
BDSM WRITERS GROUP
Writers – please join this group for BDSM Writers of fiction,
non-fiction, and poetry. Our goal is to share input and feedback on
ongoing writing projects. You do not need to be published, but we want
people who will be engaged in offering and accepting feedback. To join,
just send an e-mail to:
BDSMScribes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
DISCUSSION GROUP FOR BDSM PEOPLE OF SIZE
You are invited to join a new discussion group focused on people of size
in the BDSM community, especially Big Beautiful Women (BBW), Big
Handsome Men (BHM) and their admirers. This includes Dominants,
Submissives, Switches and everything in between. We welcome discussion
and announcements about issues having to do with being a larger person
in the leather community, particularly size-positive articles, websites,
and resources that are available at no cost. We welcome Straight, Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered and Questioning (GLBTQ) members.
To subscribe send an e-mail to:
SM_PeopleofSize-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit:
SUBSCRIBE DIRECTLY TO SCENEsubmissions NEWSLETTER. IT'S FREE.
Are you getting this newsletter forwarded from someone else? Receive a
fresh hot copy every Sunday delivered to your e-mail box. To subscribe,
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OR, read it on my website anytime for a formatted version complete with
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RUN THIS NEWSLETTER ON YOUR WEBSITE OR DISCUSSION GROUP
If you would like to reprint this newsletter on a weekly basis, please
drop me a line at SensuousSadie@aol.com
PUBLISHING POLICY
This newsletter follows standard copyrighting practice regarding all
articles and poetry which are reprinted with explicit permission of the
authors. "Fair use" guidelines are followed regarding quotes. The Fair
Use doctrine of the U.S. copyright statute states it is permissible to
use limited portions of a work including quotes, for purposes such as
commentary, criticism, news reporting, and scholarly reports and that
"In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is
a fair use the factors to be considered shall include... the amount and
substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work
as a whole." This is normally interpreted in legal cases to include 20%
or less of a complete work.
Easy to read information on copyright:
10 Big Myths about copyright explained: An attempt to answer common
myths about copyright seen on the net and cover issues related to
copyright and USENET/Internet publication.
By Brad Templeton
http://www.templetons.com/brad/copymyths.html
Copyright 2004 Sadie Sez Publications
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